Archive | September, 2008

there is no need for a title…

30 Sep
Why did I end up in this whirlpool???
How? What did I do? Argh…things are getting more and more complicated.
Isnt life full of all that already? Why did I ask for more?
My immaturity has caused wrath.

I was happy, thrilled actually because I heard it is EID tomorrow or today actually. Now being 12.49am while I am sitting on my comfortable bed listening to Siti Nurhaliza’s Anugerah Aidilfitri, on playbck mode, to make up for the absence of Eid Fitri atmosphere where I am, a place where people probably know nothing much about it.

To Azrena, I am so lucky there is no school because my lecture got cancelled. Not because of EID of course! When I entered my apartment, there were two letters for ME!!! I was thrilled and the feelings is unexplainable. Thanks alot! 🙂

Reminds me of the night of Eid back home. So much will be going on, either at my grandma’s place or getting ready for the next day…I can only imagine how beautifully decorated the house would be. I wasnt there to help my poor mum. 😦 and this is only the beginning…

I want to go back home!!!
I miss my family!!!
and friends of course!!!
And my dad, he is always so quiet that i miss that too…someone to always show me that he care…
My irritating brothers and miss making fun of my sis-in-law! Haha…or whatever she like to do to me on purpose…
But my mum the most of all!!!
I want to be back home for EID!!! Badly! Argh!!!

I have nothing to look forward to…so sad 😦

It is the first time, the scheduled Eid which was supposed to be 1 Oct is earlier-30 September. It feels so different! No EID messages…actually no messages at all. If I do receive any messaged from anyone, it would be tonight only and well…to all those who know Im here in Finland. I hope you dont expect a reply…its expensive…tsk! I wish again that I am back home…it would be free to text!

I want to run away from all the problems here!

Mixed feelings day again. I was troubled in the afternoon, so exhausted but happy to be talking to my dearest friends. Hurt had to spoil my happiness before iftar and anger as well!
Then was happy when it was time for iftar because I made simple but delicious pancakes and ate it with peanut butter and jam. My China housemate even tried them and the fact that she took a second piece shows it has taste at least. Talking to someone and focusing on their problems really can take your mind off your own.

I was troubled again after maghrib, I was thrilled and overjoyed when I heard EID was tomorrow (today).

Then scared and hurt and sad in the later part of the night. I made a mistake but i didnt ask for it!!! I repeat i didnt ask for it! I want to run away!

I listened to Eid songs to make me feel better but I thought of my family…
“…alangkah hibanya aidilfitri…”
“…bersalam bermaafan…”
I did some important tasks and then didnt feel like sleeping because I dont know what tomorrow holds…so while blogging i thought of mum…so it was sadness…then Happiness when I talked to her and dad…


Eid for me

30 Sep
When I woke up for Fajr, I felt like going out to the balcony to stand for a while and soak up the peace…it was really cold…i dont know how to judge the temperature but it was almost zero i think. There was water vapour coming out from my mouth… I took the picture of the leaves which has turned red…it was so beautiful in autumn…now…

The sun peeking at 7plus am…

This view has been posted before but now, the view is slightly different…with the almost dying leaves…
I just wanted to breathe in the Eid air…i sound like a lunatic…but i was so excited to go for Eid prayer, the only thing to look forward to on Eid. I met Sister Sara again…I was extremely happy to see her! While we were takbiring, the Somalian sisters came with their mother-in-law and kids. Adorable duo! It felt great and after eid prayer, we had some refreshments and bade farewell. The takbir raya is so different. I wanted so much to hear the takbir since Fajr prayer. But still, the takbir was good. The khutbah was in arabic. The imam gave the instructions of how to pray Eid in English, Finniah and Arabic. I think he is arabic. He said some last words in English, that meeting 200 Finnish is not the same as meeting 1 muslim brother or sister. Hope you guys get the idea of how my Eid went though most of you havent even finish fasting…haha

Supermarket day

27 Sep
I made a stop at this building where all the leaves has turned red…to me it is called the autumn leaves…I can feel winter approaching and i heard there is snow in northern Finland already!!!

Our first stop – Euromarket things are offered in greater variety.

Just the sight of nothingness i caught on the way…

This was a detour – Biltema. I wanted to buy some kitchen stuff. It was so empty on a Saturday afternoon. You will never experience this in Singapore. What do you expect in a country where there are only 5 million people.?

That was our main stop – Lidl where many said things can be much cheaper than normal and it was cheaper, just not too cheap! We were so lucky to get a ride back to the city centre from a kind Muslim who wanted to help. He was with 2 kids and he turned out to be the Imam of Lappeenranta mosque. Dont think further because I am back home safe and sound, I trust my judgement of people. My room mate who was with me is slowly realising that Muslims look out for each other. They make known of their existence to me and will want to help their fellow muslim no matter which country they come from. He is an Iraqi!

nice meal

26 Sep
Fish curry was yesterday’s menu and I had a good 3 course meal. The good thing about cooking curry is I can not trouble myself in the kitchen for the next 2 days. I am a fussy person though, the 2 days must not be exactly the same so it was fried fish instead of curry fish. It was delicious! Maybe a little salty I must admit because I added a little too much salt but the fish curry somehow tasted more delicious than it did yesterday.
I even added Jemput2 which is fried banana with flour. I didnt know how to do it exactly (despite the simple lazy people recipe proudly prepareed by my sis-in-law) but tried anyway with the limited ingredients i had and frying it took a long time as I had a really small pan. It turned out to be alright and quite tasty but I felt really happy. I think cooking makes me happy!
One day is too much for all the realisations I have discovered some on my own and others enlightened by others. Besides that, 3 big matters are still on my mind. I used to tell my mum that my life wasnt as interesting as my uncle’s but now I know people dont seek for such lifes.

the best crop

25 Sep
You must know the story of the 3 students who were instructed by their teacher to go to the field to pick the best crop and they can only move forward till the end of the field. I have a vague memory of it now aroused by some issues occuring around me.

Well it goes like this in summary of course;
the student started from the beginning of the field with the confidence of finding the best crop out of all and as he went along, he said” Ah! this is a really good crop, but maybe not.” He stopped himself from picking it up when the thought that there will be a better one in ahead crossed his mind.

As he went almost halfway; he met many more crops which got his attention and he couldnt decide if that was the best until he went to the end. Guess what happened? He didnt pick any crop because he kept telling himself,”this is good but maybe there will be crops better than this”

I cited this story because it happens one too many times when we cant decide if this is the best option in our lives and whether or not to move on. So how do you know for sure? I have no idea…anyone with any advice? Is it fate which will lead us to the correct decision?


21 Sep
Wonderful time with my Nigerian friends and their Iranian housemate. I had iftar there and we had fish, for the first time eversince I went to finland. It was Salmon and served to you for the first time. It was a delicious meal and felt really full after 4 sandwiches filled with egg and onion with tomato and of course the delicious salmon. Had Milo which they can drink 4-5 cups of it at a time. They just love Milo!
Their housemate, an Iranian guy was a really humorous person and we had a fun conversation about Finnish culture, 5 star hotels in the prison, it seems that if you get drunk here and cant get home, the polisii here will get you and bring you to the prison and the next morning they will ask you to pay for the night spent at the “5 star” hotel i.e. the prison. He was jokingly asking me to saty in their spare bedroom which is fully furnished like a 5 star hotel.

He was asking what was the thing on the table which was a microwave and then they played along and said it is a television with all the international channels and the 2 buttons were for the channel and volume and there was a main button was to switch it on. It was crappy but funny. The Finnish jokes cant be shared here but really it can get you laughing till you roll on the floor.

reasons why?

20 Sep
I’m baffled indeed.
The reason why?
I didnt ask for it, did I?
Complaining is all i can afford.
Shouldnt you practice what you preach?
What is wrong with me then?
I have to take control of the reins before…

highlights of London

17 Sep
1. The escalators seem to be only existent like at so few places. Having to climb so many steps when you have travelled from so far. Finland is further than you think.

2. Travelling from Lappeenranta to Tampere via Lahti and Rihimaki starting my journey at 2.30pm and ending up in London Stansted airport at 1.30am. I lasted till 12am that day after a long sight seeing and chatting session. So I went for like so long without much sleep and rest. I dreaded my journey back and it turned out to be worse.

3. The machine beeped when i left one of the stores at Oxford centre and I didnt know what was causing it. After walking for a while, i realised it was the tag which i got when i went into the changing room. And i forgot to return it! Gosh…i went to return it to the security guard and he was so nice about it.

4. The fire alarm rang in the Piccadilly Backpackers at 8.45am and the whole place was vacated. I got a chance to see the fire brigade! It turned out to be a false alarm…

5. I was so overwhelmed when i went into Harrods where it was like a brands paradise. Even the toilet was so posh with like free hand lotion and perfumes. There was a water dispenser outside the toilet.

6. I met a really nice Finnish girl who coincidentally turned out to be my travelling companion.

7. THE discounts are really good! I got like water when i bought The Times and got Jamie Oliver DVD when i bought The Sun.

for those looking for love (in malay)

17 Sep
This email is dedicated for those who mean alot to me; all my dear friends. There is a reason why I didnt translate it to English. The full text is from here

A guy who was looking for love, found it, enjoyed it and realised what he was doing was wrong and the lenghts he went to. Masyallah. Insyallah Allah will give us all the strength to stay away from zina.

An extract:

“Sebenarnya..couple ni boleh ke tak bang?””Akhi, memang fitrah manusia, lelaki akan tertarik kepada perempuan, begitu juga perempuan akan tertarik kepada lelaki.

Tapi dalam Islam, perasaan itu perlu dikawal dan ada batasnya. Pergaulan perlu dijaga. Allah firman dalam surah Al-Isra’, surah ke 17, dalam ayat yg ke 32:Dan janganlah kamu mendekati zina; sesungguhnya zina itu adalah suatu perbuatan yang keji dan suatu jalan yang buruk.”

“Tapi bang,saya tak nampak pun yang kami ni menghampiri zina. Niat kami baik. Saya dah cuba sedaya upaya mengawal perhubungan kami. Sms pun takdelah jiwang-jiwang, selalu bagi tazkirah lagi. Kami selang-selang bagi, hari ni saya, esok dia.

“Saya tak mahu mengalah.”Memang betul niat nta baik. Tapi ingat, niat tak pernah menghalalkan cara. Yang batil tetap sahaja batil, yang haq tetap haq. Cuba tengok ayat ni.

“Sambil brother tu bukak Al-Quran dia, dan tunjuk pada saya ayat ini:Dan (juga) kaum Ad dan Tsamud, dan sungguh telah nyata bagi kamu (kehancuran mereka) dari (puing-puing) tempat tinggal mereka. Dan setan menjadikan mereka memandang baikperbuatan-perbuatan mereka, lalu ia menghalangi mereka dari jalan (Allah), sedangkan mereka adalah orang-orang yang berpandangan tajam.(Surah Al-Anakabut,Surah 29, ayat 38)

“Akhi, kalau nta paham ayat ni, sebenarnya apa yang berlaku pada nta ialah, setan telah buat nta pandang indah benda buruk yang nta lakukan. Walaupun nta berpandangan tajam, maksudnya nta berilmu tinggi. Memang pada mulanya niat nta baik, tapi ingat, syaitan itu sangat licik. Dia akan sedaya upaya buat nta terjerumus ke dalam kemaksiatan. Lagipun, takkanlah sepanjang masa nta sms dengan dia, nta ingat Allah. Mesti ada masanya nta hanya melayan perasaan dengan dia, kan?”Betul juga katanya.

Lepas tu saya kata, “Tapi bang, saya dah janji dengan dia taknak jumpa lg. Sebab saya tahu kalau berjumpa nanti banyak bahayanya. Dan dia pun setuju. Kami sama-sama menjaga diri. Takkanlah ia boleh membawa kepada zina juga bang?”

“Em, betul, nta dah janji taknak jumpa dengan dia lagi. Nta dah dapatelakkan zina mata, zina tangan, zina kaki. kalau nta janji taknak call die pula, nta dapat elak zina telinga dan zina lidah. Tapi akh..masih ada zina yang tetap nta tak dapat elak apabila bercouple..””Zina hati?” Saya menduga.”Betul, zina hati. Semua inilah yang Rasulullah jelaskan dalam hadithnya tentang bagaimana menghampiri zina tu. Nta boleh ‘check’ dalam Riyadahus Solihin, bawah bab larangan melihat wanita. Rasulullah bersabda, mata boleh berzina dgn melihat, lidah boleh berzina dengan bercakap, tangan boleh berzina dengan berpegangan. Kaki boleh berzina dengan berjalan ke arah tempat maksiat. Hati pula boleh berzina dgn merindui, mengingati dan membayangi si dia. Hakikatnye, macam mana pun nta buat, nta tetap tak dapat lari daripada zina hati.”

Islamic TV

17 Sep