debatable issue :dating

28 Jul

Heated arguement? (tsk tsk tsk) They wanted to drive me to think faster…

Havent put much thought into this actually (im lying!!!)

so i’ll just leave u guys to do the arguing and sharing of thoughts…doing a great job already 🙂

I am trying not to allow my thoughts to be biased towards the situation im in now. Dating is still not acceptable. (very very strict point of view)
People can go on and on about how it is because…

  1. you are going to spend the rest of your lives with this person so dating for a few years is harmless. (boO!)
  2. dating allows you to see the many different faces of the person

I have no idea really, there are probably loads of more reasonable reason. I think it is mainly to have lots of fun, no string attached. That is of course besides the purpose of seriously getting to know one another for marriage. You got to agree with me it is mainly fun (if you get to do stuff together, by that i mean play games, watch movie)

It is different when you are married and do stuff together, more fun when you are not married ~ a friend of mine

Playing near the fire, exciting to be able to do stuff ~ dont want to say who said this

Both have kind of the same point, people dont feel the same when they are married already, right? For instance, a mummy and daddy going to watch movie isnt the same as when they were dating.

I dont disagree that one normally want to show their good side to their partner; being nice all the time, dressing up, giving in etc. But according to *A, her boyfriend says things she does not want to hear and they are not married yet. It is because you guys know that no matter what, the feelings wont change. Because honeymoon period is over! Since you are so sure already, what is stopping you from going to the next step?

dating is not wrong as long as the motive is to get to know the other one better, i encourage u to date so u cn see if he is the one for u, like hw i knw tat *** is for me. it can show u how real the person is in different kind of situation, when he is happy, angry or excited. U’ll gt to know how they handle the situation. & from there u cn see if he is the right one for u….~ *A

It is true that one must get to know someone and it is through dating that it can happen. However, i think dating for 4 to 5 years is not necessary to get to know a person enough to decide if they should get married. You probably know after some time ( shall not say the duration) already. See, people who have been married for 25 years can still be discovering more things about one another. Marriage needs work. Despite dating for 7 years, someone i know could not get along with his wife and asked for a divorce after 2 years. Thus, the 7 years of dating meant they didnt learn enough about one another? This is probably not the only case.

Dating does not gurantee a lifetime long marriage, nor does not dating.

Why then think about it? Because it leads to some not very inappropriate actions. Temptations.

______________________________________________________________________

So.. dating wont help you a lot if you want to know what a person will be like as a future spouse. For that, you have to cohabitate. HEHEHE. ~*I

Cohabitation is still not the same, no? It still has the no strings attached rule so it means walking out is still an easy option unlike divorce. I think people would try hard to work on a marriage then on a relationship.

Oh dear! My thoughts are so so tangled so i shouldnt be blogging because im not thinking straight. Maybe i will tidy up this post when im more clear in the head.

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8 Responses to “debatable issue :dating”

  1. Iqbal July 28, 2009 at 8:09 am #

    scared if sayang think too much later get wrinkles 😦

    Also think that people can say a lot of things but in the end its what they do that matter. And sometimes for myself (being very honest) what i say is
    – what i’d like to do/ believe, or
    – what i’d like others to think i believe
    (only recently have i been thinking of such issues.. can i really say i believe in what i say or am i still in the process of searching for what i believe in)

    Some people do what they want and try to find loopholes in the rules or arguements to justify their actions.

    Some people do what they want and blame others/ their upbringing/ their environment/ anything besides themselves for their actions.

    Some people do what they want and ignore their conscience or what they are taught to be proper. Why? Because it just feels so good, and can something that feels so right, be wrong?

  2. nisa July 28, 2009 at 1:43 pm #

    this is a super complicated topic on this blog. haha! well, all the best to those who are involved in the argument.

  3. Reyas July 29, 2009 at 2:35 am #

    here i come,

    I have so many things to comments on thisj topic, before that i wan to know if iqbal dont mind anything. My intention not to argue or fight with u guys. Just wan to share my experience/knoweldge about this topic.

  4. ad July 29, 2009 at 8:03 am #

    alah with wrinkles or without..u still love her rite? monster gt wrinkle ah??? nv see before 🙂

  5. Iqbal July 29, 2009 at 9:27 am #

    reyas, u can say whats on your mind… we try only to discuss the arguement, not making personal attacks.. all are learning here 🙂

    and at the end of the day can still agree to disagree!

    and yes adilah, i still… erm… shes still the one i want.

  6. ad July 30, 2009 at 12:49 am #

    parvin..iqbal is hestating…hw???????????? whahahahhahaha 😉

  7. Reyas July 30, 2009 at 3:02 am #

    Thanks Iqbal,

    Some ple dating for short period then married for lond period still divorce. Some ple date for long period then married for v.short period also divorce. Divorce not depend on how long u date or how long u wan to get married. It’s depend on how both parties attitude,behaviour,chemistry, all the stuff. I can eleborate more on this if parvin & iqbal request to explain.

    Parvin,
    Whats in ur mind about dating? Go dating in public place also wrong? or u wan to be happy with ur bf without going dating?

  8. Iqbal July 30, 2009 at 5:22 am #

    Adilah: not hesitating lah! we agreed that the first time we say “it” will be in a proper way. i.e not on a blog!!!

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