Archive | August, 2009

mishmash!

29 Aug
Just wanted to make this super mismash post about anything whether related or not 🙂

A report commissioned by ex-Tory leader Iain Duncan Smith will also propose a network of family relationship centres to advise before and during marriage.

He added that the idea of compromise by couples “seems to have disappeared”.

Mr Duncan Smith told the BBC that compared to their grandparents, young people had “very high” expectations of marriage “far beyond actually what it will deliver”.

He added: “It’s ironic really, given the nature of family breakdown around them, they have this incredibly high expectation of it.

“And so the idea of compromise from day one, two living as cheaply as one, seems to have disappeared.

“You do not need a £20,000 themed wedding to be a happily-married couple.”

~adapted from BBC 

That was about divorces and how to save the marraiges from ending up unfortunately in a divorce.

Bill: Sookie… I cannot…and I will not lose you. For all the ways I have…dismayed, agrieved, or failed you, I swear I will atone. But I am not sorry. I refuse to apologize for what you have awakened…in me. You…you are my miracle, Sookie. For the first time in 140 years, I felt something I thought had been lost in me forever… I love you. And for that, I shall never feel sorry!

Sookie: God damn you, Bill Compton… I love you!
~stole it from a friends blog, its pretty (girlie) with the True Blood theme.

I havent watch till that scene, which she has up there but i will! Im so far behind in season 1!!! i’ll catch up 🙂

I wanted this to be a total mishmash but…i decided to stop at 2!

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my ‘tales’

28 Aug

I have tons of readings to catch up on but im sitting on my chair typing this post. *sigh* Just didnt want to abandon this ol’ blog of mine or its a matter or time before it’d be pronounced dead! (its not that old but hey, its more than a year old of proper frequent enough blogging, not the once in a blue moon kind. I didnt even celebrate its first anniversary 😦 )

It is not as if i have an active social life which explains the frequency of my posts, just that i can always find something to talk about. Yak yak yak…(i like to think i can go on and on and on and on…ok you got the idea)

Ist up!

I was so happy last night! Bliss, euphoria, you name it – i felt it 🙂 ( add a pinch of salt to what i just said and it’d be a perfect picture of my emotions) As me why and i wont tell =p Because i have no proper reason to be happy, i just did. Simple reason and i’m not telling.

Next up!

I usually attend this lecture alone. For some weird, unfathomable reason, i have yet to ‘make’ anyone my friend. Cant blame me for not taking the extra effort to make friends in this super huge lecture theatre where we can sit one seat apart from the other person and there would still be enough space. Or sometimes i feel its good to be alone for a little ‘me’ time. (My mind is finding reason for my loneliness) But on a serious note, it doesnt bother me much, YET.

And so, as i was saying…sitting alone in the lecture theatre and students were filling up the seats, i noticed this girl. People watching involves looking at everyone and sometimes stare (unnoticeably) because you find them interesting. I was looking at this interesting character and then i realised i knew her, my mind went, “oh yea! its this XXX daughter, what was her name….”

What you notice about someone you barely know is their face, clothes and you try to guess what kind of person they are, what kind of things they do, what kind of life they have outside. I’m being very general here but that is what i do in my head when i people watch. But this girl being my relative, it was more of, “oh this is how she is like outside”, not that she looked different but its just interesting (to me). Call me weird if you want, i dont care. Seeing someone in a different setting can change the way you see them, sometimes.

People can be very different at home (with family), with friends, at work, etc…so its nice to see the various sides to them. And the fun of it is watchin when you know they are unaware! (i was contemplating saying Hi but decided against it)

And then!

I wanted to pray and usually the prayer place is empty when i get there. Fortunately, i had company today! (big deal) It is a big deal BECAUSE i got to pray jama’ah with them. Jama’ah with girls only for the very first time! Jakon right, but i really was very happy!!! So happy that you fill full in your heart kind of thing? got it!  I was unsure actually but it turned out fine, coolio!

……………………end of my boring tales…………………………..

better find some time to sleep, or i should read…maybe i should just sleep because i cant concentrate if im reading while sleepy. Crap! Blame the philosophy prof 🙂

He went, “Do the right things because it is the LAW not because Zeus (greek god) does it.” Is the law right or is it right because it is the law? He has many many many of these which comes first, chicken or the egg kinda paradoxical stuff!

The main thing here is what is holy? The ancient philosophers asked, is what the gods love holy or what is holy is loved by the Gods. I can go on here but you’d get bored and start asking youself if something came onto me, so i shall stop. For your sake, ok no for my sake.

ciao! ( i even have story for this related to a man in Budapest, who smelled of onions, or was it garlics. Cant recall but he was nice and he always bid me ciao till i liked the sound of it, felt like i became italian 😉 He was South Korean by the way,  treated me to cuppucino while we had a wonderful, wonderful talk about religion and philosophy? not sure but it was about anIranian movie we caught.)

I cant bear to say good bye that is why i have so much to say.

This time its for real!

DIL/SIL

25 Aug

I just read something which cracked me up on how the MIL’s expectation of the SIL and DIL just seem funny from an outsider’s point of view. Here! 

We were discussing expectations of daughters-in-laws and sons-in-law. Its just different! 😉

But if i wanted to say more, i wouldnt have the slightest idea or what i end up saying would be confusing. *sigh* Guys have to change, not their personality but something – which i have no idea what, has to change after their title change from a boyfriend to husband. Firstly its because they have not just a wife but a whole other family.  Secondly, they are just expected to be different. Im not making sense, i know! (sorry)

Will revisit the thought when i have done my ‘research’ 🙂 (no promises though)

Now back to expectations of IN-LAWS of their DIL/SIL. I always thought less is expected of a SIL except that he can make their daughter happy, provide for her and be a good leader(of a family), or has the capability to be so in the future. How i think would definitely be strongly influenced by my up-bringing/parents.

Much much more is expected of a DIL. So unfortunately for those who have to live with their in-laws, unless they get along like mother and ‘daughter’. She is expected to :

  1. Wake up early on weekends and help out with the chores.
  2. Look after her husband like a gem!
  3. Make sure the room is clean and tidy. (random thought:  i think the room reflects the person)
  4. Change the husband.  (i have no idea about this!)
  5. Be respectful. (I thought it was expected/logical/only normal to be respectful towards the in-laws)
  6. Treat the family as your own.
  7. the list goes on…(must ask a MIL)

Disclaimer: I can be so very wrong but that is what i think and picked out from what i hear around. (not very good at eavesdropping)

‘that’ talk

20 Aug

      The 1928 stansex_comicdard contains the lyrics:[4]

 

And that’s why birds do it, bees do it
Even educated fleas do it
Let’s do it, let’s fall in love

~wikipedia

A blog i follow had a very interesting post followed by comments, which i really wanna share. Hope you have enjoy it as much as i did! 

It is about sex education in Bangladesh and elsewhere contributed by readers all over.

 

 

 

I remember a student of mine recently expressed weird behavior. Or it was normal but i thought of it as a little weird because of the contrast of his behavior when compared to my other student.

Student A showed that he knows so much, so interested in girls and practically everything related to ‘it’, does these stupid actions which irritate the s* out of me! (so embarassing to see a 12 year old doing things which he is not suppose to know of) I bet he knows how babies are made…many kids know that now anyway!

Student B in contrast is a very shy, timid boy. (not when he is with me though) Used to not look at me when i was trying to talk/teach him. Once he brought a school homework – science practice paper. He suddenly acted out of ordinary and tore a whole page from the set. My curiousity heightened when he refused vehemently to allow me to peek at it even. He crushed it and stuffed it into his bag! It was his school paper, if i may remind you. Just imagine how he felt towards that piece of paper, which i wrestled out of his hands to discover a small diagram of the female reproductive system/organs. Even if it is PSLE, he wont do the questions related to the reproductive system.

Personally, i cant remember exactly when i knew the details of what makes a baby. I thought it would be dangerous just to sit next to a *boy/man*. (blushing) Perhaps secondary 2 was when the blanks were filled up. BUT still i was reagarded as *innocent* by lots of friends. No comments on that 🙂

Shall not confess more on my period of uncertainty pertaining to the birds and the bees =P

Doubt if my parents, more of mum because dad is super shy, ever spoke of ‘that’ openly. Learned from books and movies, speaking of movies – that answered lots of questions as well! (i am speaking of normal movies here) 😉

family gathering!

20 Aug

56

Happy birthday to Naela, 1 year old (the one in yellow),  Sakila (pink), and Sofia(tomboyish girl in red)! Was thinking to myself how this girl would turn out to be. She used to bully her 4 older sisters and despite being amongst sisters, she is starting to be tomboyish. Maybe it is to prevent being bullied(which i doubt is she is) she projects an image of herself that way to be the one in control. A little complicated for the mind of a 7 year old but perhaps it is nature or I am crapping as usual!

78

I was cutting the cake up into many little pieces to be distributed to everyone. You must see what i mess i made! (lol). This was before the mess i made cutting 3 different cakes- some wanted the ‘ice-cream’ cake, others wanted the one made by my cousin’s wife for her 1 year old daughter…

101123

It felt like Hari Raya! Surely does look it, doesnt it? Notice something, its all ladies! (except for one where my brother looked like he was about to fall).

what was she thinking?

15 Aug

Cant help but post yet another post for the day, can you see that im making up for not posting often?

Perhaps it was 2 months ago

when this girl started talking to me, treating me as her ‘kakak’ or that was what she treated me as. She followed me home once and stayed with me many hours while i was at work. Hung out with the useless, worthless neighbourhood kids and has a gangsterish attitude to make the kids look up to her or to control them, i have no idea.

Exactly 2 weeks ago

(after 2 weeks of MIA-ing), she turned up and acted weird. I’m not kidding it was weird, as weird as weird might seem. She said things like i was jealous of another girl, a friend of hers. Played many songs, she did which revolved around hurt, heart ache etc. (you get the idea) Kept asking me to play along with her guessing game to which i acted dumb in the hope that she’d give up and forget it all happened.

She left as soon as *someone* came. (abruptly) 

Pissed. Furious.

She made the rowdy neighbourhood kids disturb us; they can make my head burst! no kidding…If you picture animals in the wild, you’d have an idea of what i mean. They wanted to know why she was pissed because she said the reason was ME. What did i do? (feigning innocence) But seriously i did nothing…(pleading voice)

It became worse, she started DRINKING some vodka with alcohol i think and then, SLASHED her upper arm. Like what is wrong with her?! I wasnt sure, the kids said she did.

A week ago, we acted like strangers. I didnt work as long so nothing much could have happen anyway.

Today

we acted like strangers. I didnt smile, so didnt she. A few snide remarks she threw my way. (wants my attention) She brought teh tarik for me. (wants to be friends again?) Asked about the *someone* to know who exactly. Said something ugly and went away.

Her messenger : she was beaten, detained in school and cant remember the last one. Because of me. I went,” what? i didn do anything.”

beware of peeping tom!

15 Aug

It was a quiet weekday in town and we didnt need to elbow our way around, which will explain us being the only 2 people on the escalator besides another lady far ahead of us. While talking to my companion for that day, i casually glanced upwards looking to see how far up before we reached the next level.

I am no peeping Tom but i saw more than i should have been able to see under normal circumstance. If it was a guy, his look would have lingered to take advantage of the situation. (i might be wrong here) Just a few seconds but one would still be able to see under the lady’s skirt. (she was wearing a super short dress.)

What triggered my memory?

 An article in the Straits Times about how Hong Kong political party is going to deal with this problem. There was a study which aimed to identify black aka blind spots in malls mainly.

Peeping Tom can take advantage of the reflective floors, glass railings and glass walled escalators.

The Democratic Alliance for the Betterment and Progress of Hong Kong (DAB) released the study in response to the sharp increase in people taking indecent photos of women using mobile phones, the South China Morning Post reported.

Ms Quat suggested that the managers of the locations and other similar spots take actions such as laying shielding materials over surfaces that could be an aid to upskirt snappers, reported Hong Kong’s Wen Wei Po.

She also warned women not to assume that wearing knee-length dresses would keep them from being a target since walking next to a glass railing could offer a good enough view to any sharp-eyed snapper below.

~The Straits Times  August15, 2009

What can we do about it? No idea.

A random thought: peeping toms take upskirt photos or from the top as well (i.e. from escalators or a level above and they are looking down)

Very scary thought to know that such people are around…

one can go on and on about this topic

15 Aug

“It gave me a sense of identity,” she says. “I really liked the purpose behind the hijab — a woman covering herself so that a man should know her for her mind, not her body.”

Very interesting point about veiling …

The hijab, however, actually predates Islam, Shirazi explains. The first known reference to veiling (Shirazi uses the term hijab and veil interchangeably) was made in an Assyrian legal text in the 13th century B.C., Shirazi says. In the Assyrian, and later, the Roman and Byzantine empires, the veil was a symbol of prestige and status, she says. By the 12th century, the veil had been imposed on women in the Muslim world to exclude them from public life, Shirazi says.

People are still debating the meaning of the hijab today.

In 2007, British Muslim groups protested when schools were given the right to ban students from wearing full-face veils. In 2008, Turkey’s top court upheld a ban on wearing Muslim headscarves at the country’s universities. That same year, a Muslim woman was briefly jailed at a suburban Atlanta, Georgia, courthouse after refusing to remove her hijab in court.

Woes of a budding hijabi…

Hekmati was more concerned as a teenager about more personal issues, like her relations with boys. The hijab made it more difficult, she says. Few asked her on dates. Guys always seemed to put her in the “friend category.” She wondered if she was attractive.

“I wondered at times: Am I always going to be a guy’s friend and nothing more.”

“One guy asked me if I was allergic to the sun,” Hekmati says.

Abdelaziz, the New Jersey high school senior, also had her tense public encounters: angry looks, people feeling sorry for her or assuming her father ordered her to wear the hijab.

“It’s not oppression; it’s not that I’m accepting degradation — it’s about self-respect,” she says.

But it’s more about faith as well. She says the hijab affirms “Islam in the most respectful and purified way.”

“When you actually wear it, it opens your eyes,” she says. “It makes you want to explore your religious faith.”

At times, Abdelaziz says she wonders what it would be like to attend her prom, get a tan at the beach and have a boyfriend.

But she says her decision to honor her faith is already paying off.

“It really feels good,” she says. “It felt like I was missing something and now I’m complete. I finally understand my purpose.”

It makes me feel thankful? My battle wasnt that hard…

Read more…

pillow talk :)

15 Aug

Midnight_Blue

Goodnight! Goodnight!
Parting is such sweet sorrow
That I shall say goodnight til it be morrow.
— William Shakespeare
~this is how it feels~

chance meetings

12 Aug

When i was waiting outside the mosque for him, i met my cousin on my dad’s side. And he gave me a look of surprise, as if being in Orchard was like being in in jail! (im being mean here!)

When i was walking around with him, i saw another cousin. Ack! this time he didnt see me, or so i hope.

Both cousins were immediate cousins, making it even more urm…uncomfortable to be meeting them outside of normal situations.

____________________________________________________________

As i was waiting at the bus stop, i saw a guy who looked very familiar. My mind raced through a few faces and found his identity – a madrasah classmate whom i saw last 5 years ago. His name though i have no idea despite being someone who remembers names well.

A while later, another guy came along but this time i needed no time to think through who he was. A primary schoolmate, my primary schoolmate/friend’s brother and madrasah classmate/schoolmate. I know his name begins with S but nope…no more than that.

Both guys did not show much recognition…and so we just ignored one another!

___________________________________________________________

Last one…

The bus usually turn up not long after i arrive at the bus stop or it has been that way the few times i have been in school but this time, the wait was long. I wasnt in a rush and i missed what i used to do alot, people watching. Waiting waiting waiting and then I saw a distant cousin – second cousin to be exact. It is just weird looking relatives outside, they look different. You see more to them that what you usually get to see.  When you see someone you know but they didnt see you, somehow even that has a thrill in it. 😉