‘that’ talk

20 Aug

      The 1928 stansex_comicdard contains the lyrics:[4]


And that’s why birds do it, bees do it
Even educated fleas do it
Let’s do it, let’s fall in love


A blog i follow had a very interesting post followed by comments, which i really wanna share. Hope you have enjoy it as much as i did! 

It is about sex education in Bangladesh and elsewhere contributed by readers all over.




I remember a student of mine recently expressed weird behavior. Or it was normal but i thought of it as a little weird because of the contrast of his behavior when compared to my other student.

Student A showed that he knows so much, so interested in girls and practically everything related to ‘it’, does these stupid actions which irritate the s* out of me! (so embarassing to see a 12 year old doing things which he is not suppose to know of) I bet he knows how babies are made…many kids know that now anyway!

Student B in contrast is a very shy, timid boy. (not when he is with me though) Used to not look at me when i was trying to talk/teach him. Once he brought a school homework – science practice paper. He suddenly acted out of ordinary and tore a whole page from the set. My curiousity heightened when he refused vehemently to allow me to peek at it even. He crushed it and stuffed it into his bag! It was his school paper, if i may remind you. Just imagine how he felt towards that piece of paper, which i wrestled out of his hands to discover a small diagram of the female reproductive system/organs. Even if it is PSLE, he wont do the questions related to the reproductive system.

Personally, i cant remember exactly when i knew the details of what makes a baby. I thought it would be dangerous just to sit next to a *boy/man*. (blushing) Perhaps secondary 2 was when the blanks were filled up. BUT still i was reagarded as *innocent* by lots of friends. No comments on that 🙂

Shall not confess more on my period of uncertainty pertaining to the birds and the bees =P

Doubt if my parents, more of mum because dad is super shy, ever spoke of ‘that’ openly. Learned from books and movies, speaking of movies – that answered lots of questions as well! (i am speaking of normal movies here) 😉


8 Responses to “‘that’ talk”

  1. Iqbal August 21, 2009 at 7:10 am #

    I wonder if i will have the courage to talk to my kids about it. During super friday the ustat/imam was encouraging the *kids* to go talk to their parents about it. Not out of the blue of course, but to build up communication gradually.

    I remember telling you what happened in my primary 6 class… was still so innocent then. It was the library (hey, isnt that supposed to be an institution of enlightenment and learning? Although I guess I did get “enlightened” *giggles*) It was the library with its racy novels (not romance ones!) that taught me the basics of sex, and also how to put it in words.

    I guess it would be impossible to keep the kids in the dark forever, but i would like them to retain their purity for as long as possible. ie want them to reject watching or reading or *doing* on the strength of their convictions and values. Religion with sex education to achieve that? I think we may need your firm hand as well, sayang 😉

  2. parv~.~ August 22, 2009 at 2:29 pm #

    Thank you for sharing you thoughts. 🙂

    But there is the other side to keeping the kids in the dark for so long, kids are always curious! They will find out by some other way unknown to parents and then parents have no control how they actually do so.

    Learning from friends, for instance…

    Well it is for the future, let the parents of today deal with today and parents of tomorrow have time to think about it when the time comes.

  3. Iqbal August 22, 2009 at 2:57 pm #

    Aye, its impossible to keep kids in the dark. I doubt, for example, that my parents knew what exactly i was up to at the library. And nowadays the internet? Perhaps Mahatir was right.

    Hence my wish that they retain their purity. Perhaps “purity” is not the right word. I wish for them to reject their curiosity to find out more because to do so is to start a journey down a very dark path.

    I wish, for example, for them to close their eyes when people kiss on tv. I wish for them to skip pages in books. I wish for them to excuse themselves when friends discuss such matters. I wish for them to see girls as sisters rather than potential girlfriends. And I want them to do it becasue they want to, rather than because we tell them to.

    Dont know if these will remain wishes… or how to inculcate such values in children

  4. parv~.~ August 22, 2009 at 5:47 pm #

    That is a beatuful picture you painted in contrast to your normalities ie. painting the ugly picture.

    I dont know if i was like that, perhaps not to the extent of closing my eyes …musing 🙂

    Then they will be so innocent when their friends know so much and might feel that they are weird. Kids would definitely want to fit in. When they are older of course, they’d decide that they are entitled to their own way of thinking as opposed to societal norm. But that could be past the age of puberty when their curiosity is perhaps at its peak (not really but maybe) because so much is going on and they want to why…

    There has to be a way to keep them wrapped comfortably in their innocence…we shall find the way. *determined* and make those wishes a reality.

    Is it so bad to be good? ( what happened to those conflicted thoughts about wanting one to be innocent and not at different times?) Or is it a different rule for kids and urm someone else? the kids should remain innocent for as long but …(i think i might have confused you, sorry)

  5. Iqbal August 22, 2009 at 8:16 pm #

    Yes, it is a different rule- I dont see that someone else as a child! Rather, that someone else ignites feelings and passions and moments of insanity. There are few emotions that can match knowing that that someone feels the same way and wishes to show it.

    Children, on the other hand, should remain innocent for as long as possible. And by that I mean until they are ready for marriage. Children are such enigmas. They want to fit in and yet they want to be special. Be pure! Thats how you are special in this day and age.

  6. parv~.~ August 23, 2009 at 6:51 pm #

    “Be pure! Thats how you are special in this day and age.”
    Really? i wonder…perhaps to some it is.

    Different rules??? No fair! *stamping feet*

    That ‘someone’ is a child to his/her parents. As parents, they can feel like you do; want their kids to be innocent for as long as possible. Or do they? (never thought about that before but maybe)

    “until they are ready for marriage.”
    wont they be unprepared then? If you say it will be natural then why worry about it before?

    Im going nowhere with this! Hehe 🙂

  7. Iqbal August 24, 2009 at 5:53 am #

    Sure, that someone is a child to his/her parents, and i am confident the parents will want their child to remain innocent. The significant other, though, is not that someone’s parents. Most significant others will want their partner to be naughty…. solution? get married faster! then can be as naughty as you want 🙂

    And about being unprepared for marriage. I have no idea what the liberal media have sold our youth on how to be prepared for marriage, but being a tiger in bed is definitely not required. Because the best way to learn anything, is by practice. Do we really want our youth to practive so that they may be “prepared for marriage”?

    Preparing for marriage is to learn religion, learn how to run a household, learn the character of your spouse and how to live with them. (may have missed a few things) Sex will come naturally. But to be naughty? Well… the couple can learn together after marriage. And dont women talk about *everything*? Can learn from friends as well, after one loses the “innocent” moniker on virtue of being married. Pray for god to show the way 🙂

  8. parv~.~ August 24, 2009 at 10:10 am #

    Very well said! (this is evidence for the future, if you contradict youself ;))

    Its confusing sometimes to want to please everyone is your life. Match up to what people think of you, to what people want you to be…but i like myself the way i am 🙂

    I believe all will be natural too!
    p.s. No, not all women talk about everything. Wish I have more time with friends though..*small sigh*

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