Archive | October, 2009

interesting read!

27 Oct

About husbands and mothers:

http://withinmyneurons.blogspot.com/2009/09/husbands-influence.html

I think i shared a story about this couple who dated for 5 years before getting married but after their first kid, they started having problems and things are not getting better because the wife and the mother of the man are not getting along and he is torn between the 2.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law issue is one of the favourite ideas directors of dramas play around with. Common daily problem of everyday life.

Lets hope for the best for everyone. 🙂 (me included)

how do we judge people?

26 Oct

In the world where people are becoming increasingly materialistic, we must be aware of what is the boundaries and keep to them. We are following fashions trends and that is not wrong of course but we must be able to afford them and not spend lavishly just to look in and hang out with the cool people.

I might go out of point if i went on and on and not go straight to the point of this post, that we should not dress to please others but dress moderately just for the purpose of dressing – covering up yourself. (whichever definition)

My ustazah told us a story about this man, he is a well-known man with a minister-like position in society. He was invited to this event (function) which he attended after he did some work so his clothes were soiled and dirty.

Surprisingly, no one recognised him so he was pratically ignored.

He went home and changed to a new clothes (the best he could find) and a very clean white turban.

When he made his entrance, people invited him like royalty and served him the best food and gave him the most attention. Guess what he did?

He was not pleased with how the people were so blind! They judged and treated people based on their outlook, their clothes.

He used the wide sleeves of his jubah (clothe) and sweep it into the food and pour some food into his turban. Since the people were serving the clothes he wore, that was what would teach them a lesson.

                                                  ~ end of story ~

Hope you enjoyed it!

solat Jama’

25 Oct

Sembahyang jamak ialah menghimpunkan dua solat dalam satu waktu. Adakalanya jamak itu dinamakan ‘jamak ta’khir’ dan adakalanya dinamakan ‘jamak taqdim’

Jamak Taqdim” ialah mengerjakan sembahyang dalam waktu yang sebelumnya misalnya sembahyang Asar dilakukan pada waktu Zuhur sesudah mengerjakan sembahyang Zuhur.
Adapun yang boleh dijamakkan ialah sembahyang siang sama sembahyang siang seperti Zuhur dan Asar dan sembahyang malam sama sembahyang malam seperti Maghrib dan Isyak. Tidak boleh menjamakkan sembahyang siang dengan sembahyang malam begitu juga sebaliknya.Manakala sembahyang Subuh tidak boleh dijamakkan.

Jamak Ta’khir” pula ialah menjamakkan sembahyang dalam waktu sesudahnya, misalnya sembahyang Zuhur dikerjakan sesudah sembahyang Asar atau sembahyang Maghrib sesudah Isyak.

Cara menjamakkan sembahyang seperti yang dinyatakan di atas umpamanya dikerjakan sembahyang Zuhur di waktu Asar atau sebaliknya. Begitu pula dengan sembahyang Maghrib dikerjakan pada waktu Isyak atau sebaliknya. Tetapi sembahyang Asar tidak boleh dijamakkan pada sembahyang Maghrib kerana itu bukan tempatnya.

Syarat Jamak Taqdim:

1. Meniatkan jamak di dalam solat..
2. Tertib ertinya mendahulukan mana yang patut didahulukan dan mengakhirkan mana yang patut diakhirkan. Maksudnya dikerjakan lebih dahulu sembahyang yang pertama kemudian yang kedua.
3. Berturut-turutan ertinya setelah selesai mengerjakan sembahyang yang pertama, hendaklah segera dikerjakan sembahyang yang kedua tanpa diselangi / dibatas oleh sesuatu perbuatan dan perkataan lain melainkan untuk berwudhuk kembali.
Sembahyang qasar pula ialah memendekkan solat yang empat rakaat kepada dua rakaat iaitu untuk solat zohor, asar dan isyak sahaja.

Syarat jamak ta’khir:

1. Meniatkan jamak di waktu yang pertama. Jika tidak, tidak sah jamaknya.
2. Lanjut perjalanan hingga akhir waktu kedua, andaikata ia sedang berjalan.

Lafaz niat solat jama’ taqdim, cth: Zohor dengan Asar

” Usolli fardha al-Zuhri arba’a raka’atin majmu’an ilaihi al-‘Asru lillah taala ”
(Sahaja aku sembahyang fardhu Zohor empat rakaat jama’ dengan Asar kerana Allah Ta’ala)

Bagi jama’ ta’khir, cth: Asar dengan Zohor, lafaznya sama seperti di atas cuma berbeza pada sebutan solat (didahulukan solat Asar daripada solat Zohor.

” Usolli fardha al-‘Asr arba’a raka’atin majmu’an lillahi ta’ala ”
(Sahaja aku sembahyang fardhu Asar empat rakaat jamak kerana Allah Ta’ala)

Lafaz niat Qasar dan Jama’ Taqdim / ta’khir serentak:cth: Zohor dengan Asar:

“Usolli fardha al-Zuhri qasran majmu’an ilaihi al-‘Asru lillahi ta’ala”
(Sahaja aku sembahyang fardhu Zohor qasar, jamak dengan Asar kerana Allah Ta’ala

taken from this website

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The reason why we are allowed to do this has been explained very well in this site which i shall extract a few parts to emphasize….

Prayer is very important, and it is enjoined to pray regularly on time; we are encouraged to do that and warned against taking this matter lightly, as is well known. For example, Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Verily, As‑Salaah (the prayer) is enjoined on the believers at fixed hours”

[al-Nisa’ 4:103]. 

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, when asked which deed is most beloved to Allaah: “Prayer offered on time.”  Narrated by al-Bukhaari (527) and Muslim (85). 

He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The one who omits to pray ‘Asr, all his good deeds will be lost.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (553). 

There are reasons we can give for being excused from prayer, many will say we live in Singapore, not Saudi so it is difficult to find a time to pray on time etc.

should do all that he can to look for means that will enable him to perform this great duty at the right time,

  1. such as choosing the time of lectures that do not conflict with prayer,
  2. asking permission from the lecturer to leave the room to perform the prayer in any clean place.
  3. It is well known that praying does not take up more than a few minutes

Now then we shall touch upon the joining of the 2 prayers:

If he does all that he can but is not able to offer the prayer on time, there is nothing wrong with joining two prayers, so he may join Zuhr and ‘Asr, and Maghrib and ‘Isha’, because of the report narrated by Muslim (705) from Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) joined Zuhr and ‘Asr, and Maghrib and ‘Isha’, in Madeenah when there was no fear and no rain. According to the hadeeth of Wakee’ he said: I said to Ibn ‘Abbaas: Why did he do that? He said: So that his ummah would not be subjected to hardship, i.e., so that they would not face any difficulty. 

Some quotes from the Quran which states that the religion makes things easy for its followers

“Allaah intends for you ease, and He does not want to make things difficult for you”

[al-Baqarah 2:185] 

“Allaah does not want to place you in difficulty”

[al-Maa’idah 5:6] 

“and has not laid upon you in religion any hardship”

[al-Hajj 22:78] 

Lastly about whether we can shorten the prayer when we join 2 prayer together:

He must offer the prayer in full, not in shortened form, because the one who intends to stay in a place for more than four days comes under the same ruling as a resident according to the majority of fuqaha’. 

There is no connection between joining and shortening prayers. He may join them, as when travelling, or a person may join them when not travelling, because of sickness or istihaadah (non-menstrual vaginal bleeding) or because he fears for himself or his property, or because of heavy rain and other excuses that permit joining prayers, without shortening them, because prayers may only be shortened when travelling.  

And Allaah knows best.

p.s. i was looking for an english version of the step by step for frineds who cant understand Malay but I cant find it. So whoever who can, please do link 🙂

Protected: some ceremonies…

25 Oct

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about heels and all

18 Oct

While researching for a very interesting project – stillettos as a cultural object, i came across articles about whether it demeans or empower us?

Its an illusion which we can see but choose to deny.

Heels are undeniably feminine, and the extra height — I’m 5ft 6in, so a three or four-inch heel took me to eye level with most of my male colleagues — brings a certain authority with it.

They are also undeniably sexy, giving shape and tension to calf muscles, allowing a woman to cross her legs and casually, but provocatively, to swing her shoe gently from her dangling foot.

I’ve watched men’s eyes transfixed on such a sight, at times to such an extent that they lose track of the conversation going on around them.

It’s as though they’re looking at a woman in her underwear, rather than at a high-powered executive, who is just — well — crossing her legs and swinging her shoes.

Shoes become power in those moments — power to distract, disarm and seduce. A man lost in momentary lust is liable to agree to anything from a raise to a promotion.

I was never that sort of feminist — the highest pair of heels I ever bought, a pair of bright green Yves Saint Laurent sandals (with 5in heels), was in 1972. I remember buying them with a sense of defiance.

I wore them with pride, not to hide my feminist politics, but to say: ‘I’m also a female who likes men and who knows that shoes like this are sexy.’ I also wore mini skirts, tight jeans and cropped T-shirts, but nothing worked as well for my sense of sexuality and femininity as heels.

Later, when I was in my 40s, I’d buy high-heeled shoes more for the height (and thus the power) that they gave me, but I still liked the fact they made my legs look longer and thinner.

YET SHE ADMITS AND KNOWS ALL ALONG WHAT HEELS CAN DO TO ONE

Do I feel diminished in my post-heel days? A little, but I don’t miss the pinched toes, the bunion that was developing on my left foot (which has now receded) nor do I miss the fact I often found myself unable to walk quickly if my heels were just a tad too high.
~Read more

From what i’ve read, it seems women feel wearing heels is worth all the trouble because they can gain more than lose. Somehow the arguements by those who believe heels demean a women are not as strong. One is unable to see what is behind the illusion they choose to be in. Similarly, i know it is wrong to eat unhealthy food yet i want to. It is just so much tastier and i cant deny myself that indulgence.

Now i feel brainwashed into thinking i should wear heels to feel sexier 😉

Why put yourself through the inconvenience and immobility, the deferred agony when your throbbing toes are released from captivity.

To me, serious heels just signal geisha girl status: a willingness to please men at the expense of yourself, because it is impossible to relax if your feet are killing you.

Comfy is the new cool. That’s a real step forwards.

Click on the above link to read more interesting stuff on the what another lady who believes heels empower women has to say about mating and heels from the past to the present.
Just and excerpt for you 😉

By the end of the Sixties, heels were still a weapon, but the battleground had shifted. I was told by a boss: ‘I expect you to wear heels at the office.’

‘Really, why?’ I asked, already an embryonic feminist.

He looked baffled. ‘It is a woman’s duty to look attractive to men,’ he decided.

So I took to wearing stilettos, which intimidated men as well as entrancing them. Heels turned you into a sex object. If you ran, you fell. That was the charm.

Then you either lay where you fell or whacked him with them. But by then the mating game was changing.

14 Oct

Its truly amazing what she can do…

cooking again!

12 Oct

DSC08721

Been a long time since i made anything for myself so my *ahem* skills are a little rusty, needs some practice and i’ll enjoy my cooking even more in the future. Ah…craving kuttu prata again 🙂 Shall push it away…(R can deliver to my house?)

This is supposed to be called a potato dish. It was adapted from my SIL and she got it from her mother. A very simple dish which you can customise according to what you have at home. I like to add cheese to it to give the extra kick 😉 (so i made my sweet brother go and get me some cheese from a nearby store)

There wasnt any cooked rice to fry, no bread to make sandwiches so its this potato dish then!

Small glitch or it would have been quite a tasty meal: I forgot to boil the potatoes first! But the potatoes turned out quite ok, more cooked than not.

I added french bean, hotdog, beef patty (into small pieces), tomato and egg.

A little muak at the end because of the potatoes maybe, so this should do as a side not the meal itself.

super mishmash + a message to my dear friend

2 Oct

Next week is supposed to be e-learning!!! I have school on the same number of days 😦

Unless…..i skip 🙂 hehe (naughty naughty) but but they are not supposed to do this! Its all because of Arabic which happens 3 times a week. Oh well…

I forgot to do my homework today and the Arab teacher went,” parvinnn…”, and shook his head. At least i was honest enough to own up! That should count for something and i always do my homework after not doing it the first week because i wasnt used to school yet. My excuses are perfectly reasonable, no? I do my homework all the time! And this one time (not counting the first excusable time) he decided we must be serious about our homework and took down the names of those who didnt do. 😦

p.s. he was kind enough to say that the rules would apply from next week onwards.

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Being in love for 9 years, how must that feel? Well i could just ask my parents, they have been in love for like a couple of decades or more 🙂 but shy. But when i was reading this on a blog a follow, i thought to myself – wow! being in love for 9 years but married for 2 years only. Dated for what, 7 years??? That is pretty long, no, its extremely long. The average now is around 4-5 years! I dont know what to think, its nice if it ends in a marriage to halal (ify) the relationship but what if it doesnt? No one thinks about that part because no one wants it to happen. But we got to be realistic, no?

I wonder why i think so differently. I asked my friend who has been in a relationship for 9 months if she planned to marry the person she is with. Guess what she said? She isnt sure, and that she is not ready. Lots of reasons. We can create reasons if we want to win an argument so people can come up with reasons to justify their actions. But i do not disagree with the fact that one must be ready, or do not marry. We do not want more divorces do we?

I heard of this guy who dated his now wife for 5 years and now they are into their 2nd year of marriage but having problems. He is thinking of divorcing her because he said she showed her true colours after they got married. Scary! I know. When i asked a social worker her opinion, she gave a perfect answer.

She said when you marry someone, you got to accept everything about the person. There is no turning back. Meaning to say, one should not think of divorce as an option.

People nowadays think of divorces too lightly but perhaps some just dont know how to mantain a marriage. (by giving their spouses strong ground for divorce)

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To my dear friend,

Think of what is best for you. Fight for what you want, in a proper way of course. Make sure it is success you attain because that is your ultimate goal. If you want to continue to be with him, you have got to do what it takes. I repeated a million times what i suggest you do but whether you want to do it or not is entirely up to you for you are the most important person in this matter.

Do no ever think of running off with your prince charming. I dont think you have the guts to do such a thing but one never know where some people get the strength to do things out of ordinary. Love could count as that anonymous force. Without your parents blessings, i dont wish to say what would happen to something as important as a marriage.

If there is a will, there is a way.

May Allah guide you. (perhaps Istikharah would help)

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When i cut vegetables, i think of how you peel potatoes.

When i crack open an egg, i think of what you said was the texture of egg white.

When i hear the a message come in, all i think of is you.