Tips for a happy and Successful marriage

28 Sep

From here 🙂

The following are some amazing tips that every couple should follow to have a happy and successful marriage:

Get married with the right intention and go forward step by step:
Both spouses should get married with an intention to get the blessings and grace of Allah, the Almighty. Then this marriage becomes an act of worship which will certainly reward the couple. The reward comes in the form of stability, ensuring peace and happiness in their life. This act of worship should be renewed with the passage of time to keep the life on correct path.

Keep in mind that your spouse is also a brother or sister in Islam:
Most of the time Muslims treat other people outside the home with kindness and sincerity but when it comes to their own home they treat their spouse differently. Islam always suggest that one’s spouse is also another brother and sister and the rights and duties which is applicable to other brothers/sisters in Islam should also be applied to marital relationship.
The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: None of you are true believers until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself. [Bukhari,2/12] Subhanallah, how many marriages could this hadith alone save? It counters every kind of negative treatment and encourages good treatment!

Do not hold Unrealistic Expectations:
Before Marriage, people envision unrealistic expectations for their spouses and want them to be perfect in all aspects. This is very rare and always leads to unnecessary problems and concerns. Allah created human beings with some imperfection which suggests that humans will make mistakes throughout their lives. Do not expect much from your spouse and when you receive something beyond your expectation from your spouse then this will undoubtedly please you. This, in turn, leads to contentment within the marriage.

Focus on the best in your Spouse:
Since no one is born with all the qualities; one should concentrate on the positive qualities of the spouse and always try to encourage and praise to strengthen the existing qualities and motivate to develop the others. Always try to overlook and ignore negative characteristics, as the Prophet (PBUH) said, “A believing man should not have any malice against a believing woman. He may dislike one characteristic in her, but may find another in her which is pleasing.” [Muslim, 8/3469]

Be your Mates’ best friend:
Think about what a best friend means to you and if you have a best friend, then it should be your spouse. Best friend means the person with whome you can share your interests, experience, dreams, failure and upsets. So try to involve yourself in understanding the likes and dislikes of your spouse and try an attempt to please him/her by any possible way. A best friend usually be the one who can be confided to trusted and relied upon. A spouse should be the kind of friend that one would like to have throughout the life.

Spend Quality time together:
It’s not sufficient to just share meals; chores and small talks together to keep strong marital relations. Spouses should find time to focus on strengthening the relationship. Couples usually get stuck to their own separate tasks and are not able to spend time together. Quality time can range from having a quiet, profound conversation, to going for a nice long walk, to sharing a special hobby or project. Both spouses should enjoy any particular option they opted for and element of distraction should be kept minimum init.
The Prophet (PBUH) used to race with his wife, ‘Aisha (RA) Sometimes she won, and sometimes he won. Remember, he was in his fifties at the time!–how many of us think we are to “mature” to do something enjoyable that can also, with a proper intention, count as an act of worship and ring in piles of good deeds?

Express Feelings Often:
It is important that both spouses should be open and honest about one’s feelings: both positive and negative. The communication between them should be open and any concerns should be resolve as early as possible. The rationale is that the concerns seems simple will take a giant form if not addressed properly.

Admit to mistakes and ask for forgiveness:
Usually when we make mistake we ask Allah to forgive us, so in a similar way we should ask our spouses to forgive us. The strong person is the one who admits his mistake and feels sorry for doing it and tries hard to improve themselves so that this mistake would not be repeated again, when a person is unwilling to do this, there will be little growth development in the marriage.

Don’t dwell on the Past:
It can be very hurtful for another person to be reminded of past mistakes. In Islam, it is generally not recommended to dwell on the past. So it will be of more benefit if a person does not repeat or bring up the mistake which they had done in past.

Surprise each other at Times:
Try to surprise your spouse by bringing home small gifts or flowers, preparing a special meal, dressing up and beautifying oneself or sending a secret note in a lunch-box. The idea is to make changes in the routine to make the marital life happier.

Cultivate a Sense of Humor:
Share a joke with your spouse. This particular aspect helps in preventing arguments and brightening the atmosphere of the home for long term. You always encounters challenges and tests in life, and to approach it in a light-hearted manner helps make the journey smoother and more enjoyable. You may also find that your spouse enjoys this characteristic, and looks forward to spending time with you because of it.
In fact, the Prophet (PBUH) himself joked with his wives, as well as with companions (though without lying), and tolerated some companions who were known for being light-hearted and prankish.

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