Archive | October, 2010

pursuit of happiness

24 Oct

The Importance of Death

by this person

Some people have said that the point of living is to die. But I like to think that the point of death is to live. The apprehension of our foreboding death drives us to live our life to the fullest. To live a full life where we can do what we truly love. To wake up in the morning and be excited for the challenges of a new day. To find somebody to share your love with. This is what ‘life to the fullest” means. It’s the pursuit of happiness. But most often than not, the majority of us choose not to live our life to the fullest.

Most of us are so concerned with money that the pursuit of happiness becomes less of a priority. We created an idea that it’s OK to have a miserable job for 20 years because “it pays well.” We think that after we have slaved ourselves away with work, we’ll be able to live a happy life with all the money that we saved. Money mixes everything up for people. We start to think money can solve all our problems and bring happiness. But it really doesn’t. Explore poorer countries like Burma, Laos Philippines and India and you will find that the majority of the people are happier than in US or Taiwan. I believe this is because they value family, friends and community a lot more than money. They have made it their source of happiness. Even when they earn less than a dollar a day, they are still happy because they have this source of happiness to go back to at the end of the day. They live their life to the fullest because they appreciate what they have and make the best out of it.

I think that 100% of the people who go after their dreams and do what they love are happy people. Even if they fail countless times along the journey, they still have a smile that is wider than the rest of us because they are doing what they love. So the question is, how do the rest of us find the incentive to go after our own dreams? Simple. Give importance to death.


wished i had a sister too

24 Oct

Blood is thicker than water, a phrase so worn out but its meaning, as true as ever.

Maybe if i had a sister, we would still share stuff with one another when we have kids. Just like i see my mother and her sister. They were making puteri salat (a type of Malay kueh) together. No one can separate us, not our husbands nor our children.

I’ll hope for friends to be the closest i would have to having a sister.


22 Oct

The time to be in the trough is here again. Many reasons to account for it but i am the main reason, my mind.

Sometimes i feel so tired but i just imagining hanging out with a friend at a cafe just chatting the night away about anything under the sky as my tired limbs slowly feel relief, worries seep into the darkness of the night sky. A couple of friends i can think of doing it with but who has the time nowadays.

My Uni friends, who are younger than me asks, how are you coping with school and being married. I joked that my husband can take care of himself. Seriously, i am still getting used to it. I said perhaps i would have lesser time with friends but in fact, my friends have all abandoned me. Not in those words but i said they are busy with their lives as most are working already. I think a couple of friends who know im married asked me this just in one week.

I’ve tried. I dont blame anyone but circumstances maybe.

Little happiness: when i went to engine to eat chicken rice. its different going there with a friend. I miss having it with him.

You just go down down and under before someone realise you’re drowning, lets hope it is not too late. Its one thing after another. Fatigue. Hunger. Loneliness. Mind wanders for solutions to chase it away but nothing seem to fit.

My student noticed the difference in me, she is a girl – girls tend to be more sensitive. But then again, she one drama queen.

I should seek refuge in him, not the worldly life. Insyallah all will be well.

I recommend surah al-kahf (the cafe) with meaning to appreciate it. Masyallah.


The picture painted  is a blatant lie to decieve all the people in the world. Life is not a bed of roses, said  someone living with HIV, in class today.

Irony. She talks about stigma and being sensitive but couldnt there be someone who is homosexual or have HIV in the very class she is talking about? We talk about homosexuality being so common so why not one in the class of 70 students? I had that thought in a couple of classes where people talked about it as if everyone there is straight. An assumption? She said about a uni student having HIV, so it could be from this very class, no? Just my thoughts. We might think we are aware of what we are saying but are we really?


Maybe all i need is a break for a little while….


20 Oct

This is a reply to adilah’s comment 🙂 (see a whole post just for you, touched?)

because you dont have passion! muahahaha! (jk) passion is not enough to excel, or is it?

I have great passion for arabic, you can ask my husband how i bore him with arabic stuff and how i explain to him what little understand from short do’a(s) and even from the phrase bismillah.

But its not enough to want to learn the grammar which at first was manageable but now i’m drowning in the pool of arabic grammar. Its like i just managed to catch up with week 1 grammar lesson at week 5. I try but its not enough. If only the tests marks wont affect my CAP, i would continue learning this beautiful language.

Oh speaking of arabic we learn in madrasah and even the one i learn in pergas, for me it is fun and i enjoy that 🙂 hehe…maybe you know what, you’re not a linguistically inclined person. Some people are like that and it just means that you are much better at other stuff!


I, on the other hand, enjoy learning languages! Basic French Language in poly was so fun i actually looked forward to going to school during that semester. In Finland, though i didnt take Finnish, i did learn on my own – the fun stuff like numbers, days of the week, colours… (the picture below was exactly what i learnt from)


Oh, i just remembered another story! Forgive me for i am full of stories, i’ll go from one to another without finishing what i started with.

So where was i? Yea…

I was in a mosque in Helsinki, Finland. Went there to buy halal meat with some muslim friends and i was sitting outside the female prayer place alone.

Kids were running about and i hear bits and pieces of arabic or finnish or somali, i couldnt distinguish, amongst laughter and giggles. Their mothers were relaxing in the prayer area chatting with their country mates, it was a Somali mosque. We heard the, azan, call for prayer and most people went about their way preparing for congregatory prayer, women came in with long flowy hijabs which reached their knees so they prayed with that. There was no telengkung in the women prayer area.

I couldnt pray so i sat outside the prayer area, reading a book which teaches Basic Finnish language. A curious kid saw it and started to read it, kids started gathering around me and chanting one to ten in Finnish but it was too fast for a beginner like me. I asked one boy to teach me slowly but he got exicted and halfway he was chanting it again or claimed he didnt know more than 4. A helpful girl came and taught me, slowly i learnt from them, little Somali children, who were excited to pass on their knowledge to another.

Yksi. Kaksi. Kolme. Nelja. Viisi. Kusi. Seitseman. Kahdeksan. Yhdeksan. Kymmenen

Ouh, many things happened in the mosque! If i shared them all, the sun would have set and i would still be talking, or typing in this case.

As for Tamil, Insyallah learning from Reyas would bear some fruit after a long time. My husband is learning as well, haha * remembered something funny he did* we were walking with mother when he shouted “kaadi”, which means car, to tell mother to be careful of the approaching car. We had a good laugh! I think learning a language requires a willing teacher and a willing learner.

And LOTS AND LOTS of determination!

arab. school. adilah. baby. amongst others.

19 Oct

Im blogging despite the tons of stuff i got to do. I dont see the point in blogging if im just complaining as well 🙂

My arabic is not doing well. Sometimes i do regret taking level 3. Like i should have tried taking french level one or something then might be able to do better, at least i expect it to be simpler. My love for the arabic language is too deep, but my grades kind of take precedence here. I sit there in class feeling like the lousiest student there who the lecturer calls on to answer because he pities me and is giving me a chance. Sometimes when i know what my friend doesnt, i tell myself, actually im not bad what, how can the test tell me im a lousy arabic student? How dare the test?  ok i shall stop 🙂

I have a presentation this week and next and i said i would compile, i wonder why. I, just like others in uni, prefers our previous institutions, whether polytechnic or Junior college. Those were the good times! yay!

Before i know it, i would be able to smell the fragrance of exams.

Adilah, i wanted to tag on your blog but your tagboard didnt appear:

Why never ask me to go with you for the movie? I would have loved to watch with you!!! Not that i think you mind being alone but i wanted to watch it as well. I think Iq would happily send me off to watch with you as its not his kind of movie 😉  *a relief for him*

Oh well! I need to do something, settle it! Dont know when we’ll have the time.

The little baby boy is doing great! He is a cutie pie 🙂 hehe smells of milk though and so does his mama. I realised he likes to be rocked.

i’d never known, i used to be clueless on what to think of them

7 Oct

It is called Gender Identity Disorder, it is not really homosexuality as this must be prevalent in their childhood.

Do watch the followeing parts, 2-5. There are other examples and observe how the parents cope and most importantly, how do these children cope. Should the parents embrace them or not? How about negative reinforcement? would it work? I dont know.

Very very much delayed outing! for a birthday which was years, i meant months ago

4 Oct