my little nephew

29 Jan

How love can turn to hate so easily? I read it somewhere but i cant remember. Do you believe it to be true? I couldnt quite understand.

Post partum depression, mothers who fall into depression after the birth of their child. Really sad, i can only imagine.

I am not a mother yet so i wouldnt know right. Of course i can only hope it doesnt befall me, Insyallah.

Sometimes when baby-sitting my little nephew, i experience a myriad of emotions. All crashing and merging together making me all confused.

I’d be resting but the moment i hear through the door that he is awake, i would creep into the living room to just look at him and i know he will smile when he sees company. Doesnt like being alone much. His toothless million dollars smile does something to me. Even though i had no intention of staying, i would find myself sitting next to his bear-baby bed to just watch him make the ‘cat-sound’ and squeal while he tugs involuntarily at his matching baby blue pajamas.

Sometimes, he would tug at them to expose his little bulging tummy and bring his miniature fist into his waiting mouth. Hungry or not, his fist is the favourite thing he places into his mouth. You can stuff the pacifier into his mouth but no he would push it out only to replace its space with his knuckles.

It’ll only be a few minutes before he would start crying slowly at first and then fiercely, till his chubby face turns crimson, if no one gives him some attention. Sometimes i would just squeeze the smiley face which would emit a squeky sound to attract his attention and he will momentarily stop crying. Play a little before his seeks attention again…

The thing about babies is you never know for sure what they want and many first time mothers would just have to practice trial and error. For a non-experienced person like me, when a baby is left in my care, all i want to do is put him to sleep. Even if that is what he wants, he would still cry because he isnt comfortable. One have just got to make eduated guesses as to what is the problem. My brother suggested empathy would help one remain patient when clueless as to what a baby is crying for. Is it really possible? 

Choices are:

he is hungry

he needs a nappy change

he is sleepy

he is just irritated

he wants to burp

he just wants his mummy

So after trying everthing out and he is still awake, by that time, he would be sleepy so making him sleep would be fast and oh boy, would i be relieved. I can stare at him and he looks like an angel, its not that i think he is otherwise but i didnt think i would be happy just staring at him sleeping soundly.

I think to myself, hasnt he grown so fast? He was just a little thing a while ago and now, he is outgrowing his clothes and tub. Amazing isnt it, God’s creation. Subhanallah.

Sometimes i get so frustrated with you because i dont know what you want, please forgive me. I guess that makes me different from a mother.
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