Archive | July, 2013

Poop accident! Not again!

29 Jul

I had a nice morning to myself when DS was asleep. He usually doesn’t sleep after 6am but this morning was a little different.

When he woke up, I was on great spirit because I was ready for him, to meet his every need 😉

We did some fun activities before preparing for his bath. Usually I undress him before my mum bathe him. As I was taking my time to clean his butt from some poop when without any indication, he pooped out everywhere on his changing mat, bed sheet, the floor, prayer may on the floor and on my clothes and hand!

I went crazy! Screamed for mum to come help me. While i was still freaking out about the poop, he peed upwards all over his body and face!

Mum came after a while and told me what to clean😔 She was rushing to bathe her elder grandson and bring him to school.

Lots of clean up! Life of a mother😊

***this is not the first time I got peed and pooped on! I learnt a few things to prevent this from happening like being watchful if tell take signs when he is about to pee or poop but sometimes there are other distractions and these things take split second to occur.


Unknown/ Blocked calls

26 Jul

A call from the above-mentioned numbers rudely woke me up from my short nap with the baby. It was no one.

However it reminded me of someone. And the thought that a person I have no intention of keeping in contact with night ‘haunt’ my life again.

There are legitimate reasons I don’t detail too personal details of my life in such a public space. Oh well…I hope that part of my life won’t repeat itself again.

Attachment issues?

24 Jul

It feels odd, different. Something is a miss, something i held with me for 10 months and 40 days.

The 10 months was within me and 40 days was carrying him close to me in a sling.

I’m sure he misses his ummi as much as his ummi misses him or perhaps even more! I like it that he wants me no matter whether I’m smelly or dirty. I love that he needs me and can smell me from far! I love the fact that being near him gives him comfort.

I’m sure his Emma will take very good care of him. And she is more than willing to do so!

I wonder how it will be when I go back to work…

P.s it’s been 3 years since we embarked on a journey together and InsyAllah we will have many more years together till Jannah. Ameen.

More gifts for baby Ilyas!

20 Jul

The husband’s friends have these gifts. Actually we have more than enough clothes. Too many already but they were so nice and more little socks for baby. The booties we have are too big for baby as he tends to kick alot and the booties will come off on its own.






18 Jul

We had baby Ilyas’s one month developmental checkup at the polyclinic in the morning. He is 3.71kg now! Yay! Alhamdulilah…he has also grown taller by 5cm so he is now 55cm tall.

In the late afternoon we headed to Countryside Clinic located at Yishun ring road to get baby Ilyas’s circumcision done by Dr Zailan.

The husband and I went into the room with him. I sat on his right side and the husband sat in front of him. With my hands holding firmly onto baby Ilyas’s arms, the husband holding onto his legs; doctor started on the job. I tried to look but there was so much blood I gagged.

First was the injection to numb the little Mr p. Then doctor handled Mr P with surgical scissors from the tip, he opened it up to reach within and placed the ring before they tied to cut off blood circulation I think. I thought it was over when doctor started cutting the foreskin. My heart couldn’t take it any longer, I had to look away.

There was so much pain and my poor baby cried his eyes out. His mother couldn’t cuddle him but just watched as he was being circumcised.

He stopped crying once the procedure ended. Not sure if he still felt pain but I was holding him or because the pain was lesser after the procedure ended.

Lots of nursing and cuddling throughout the night for my brave little man who didn’t cry as much as I imagined he would because of he pain.

Alhamdulilah he is better now, the ring has not dropped off but he is back I normal. I’m just refraining from putting him on his tummy for now, to be safe.

Disclaimer: I didn’t see the whole procedure because I was grossed out! So my account of how it happened is just an inkling I have.

*Baby Ilyas had his circumcision done at 34 days old.

# update on 27 July 2013: The ring on his Mr p dropped today at around 5pm. Alhamdulilah. And yay we an continue the motor programme!!! He was doing so well on his crawling track but I think we would have to restart…hopefully he will progress well!

Photo of the ring:


Breastmilk vs formula milk

12 Jul

The creator’s artpiece

11 Jul



Of smiling and sleeping

9 Jul

He is smiling more as the days go by; usually it’s after a feed with his eyes closed. I tried getting a shot of it but still unsuccessful. Maybe I should just bask in the moments I instead of trying to capture them!

He didn’t sleep so well today and I was getting worried. He would feed, burp, rest, cry, regurgitate sometimes, rest, cry, feed and it goes on for a few hours. As long as he is awake he feed more often. I’m not sure if he has reflux but I know I should keep him upright after feed. I just get tired and put him down if he is asleep. Sometimes he sleeps well but other times he wakes up because he had to burp. I tried to burp him for the x number of times on my chest and he appeared so relaxed so I left him there and he fell asleep. Alhamdulilah. Maybe that’s how I have to keep him upright. I’m still learning as I go along. It felt great to hold him on my chest as I hear his shallow breathing while h sleeps soundly!

Happy pills

8 Jul

The conversation at the doctors went like this:

Mum was carrying him today so she sat next to the doctor with baby Ilyas.

Doc: so you’re here for the jaundice level check right?

Mum: yes.

*we were both eagerly waiting to hear the results as its been a long tiring few weeks of going to and from the polyclinic so we were really hoping it will be good news*

Doc: you’ve been here 6 times for the past 25 days and its quite a few times.
Today his jaundice level is 99. We discharge babies once jaundice level reaches below 100. It’s still not normal but it’s in a downward trend so we will discharge. Normal range should be below 50.

I was filled with relief! Alhamdulilah. It’s not just the dressing up, packing his bag, carrying him, troubling my mum to drive me there and stay with me, queuing up for registration, lab test, watching as the medical technologist draw 2 fine tubes of his blood, waiting for a while to see the doctor afterwards EVERY SINGLE VISIT. I bet my mum was relieved too!

Doc: he is exclusively breastfed right?

Mum: ya she does.

Doc: that’s really good and you should continue as its good for him and generally breastfed babies have jaundice longer and it takes longer to drop. Just continue to monitor him and if you notice his eyes are yellowish, you can bring him in.

Mum: ok. she wants to weigh him, can she?

Doc: yea sure.

Mum carried him and places him on the weighing scale. Doc was standing there.

Doc: how heavy was he when he was born?

Me: 3kg and then it dropped to 2.8kg.

Doc: yea it’s normal for babies to lose weight and then they will gain a few grams everyday after. He should be around 3.4kg now.

We looked down at the scale and it read 3.41kg. Alhamdulilah, it was driving me nuts not knowing if he is growing well since I see him everyday. I did notice that he was heavier but still…

Spot on doc! He wasn’t looking! Oh well it was one of the more pleasant doctor visits with Ilyas. Turns out he is an Indian Muslim doctor we gathered when we left his office. He even has the husband name. Some doctors just tell us the jaundice level and we leave. I realized I forgot to request for the patients copy of the lab results. It’s ok! He is in the clear! ☺


6 Jul

Dear son,

You’ve been a ‘bundle of joy’ so far and my unending love for you is only increasing as the day go by, no matter the difficulties. The saying is in inverted commas because its such a cliche and not because it’s not true!

It’s been a little more than 3 weeks since you came into our lives and occupied every part of our sleeping and waking moments. Alhamdulilah. Even while you sleep, people who visit just comment on how well you sleep but only your ummi and ayah know the truth. (Your nyayi, Mami siti, aunty Adilah commented that you sleep a lot)

You’re just a baby with a few basic needs; to eat, poop, pee, burp and sleep. Sometimes you get cranky when you’re struggling with any of the above-mentioned. To be honest, I try to relieve you to the best of my knowledge most of the time. There are times your ummi is so tired I just snooze for a few minutes before I wake up with a start to tend to your needs.

It’s not a checklist your ayah think it is; diaper change check, drank milk check, burp check…” What else could he want?” your ayah wonders out loud. It’s trial and error for us to guess what your next need is.

Your ummi is getting used to your cluster feeds and the queer feeding behavior at times but other breastfeeding mothers shared that its all pretty normal and with time…you’ll grow out of it😉

Motherhood is great! Some days are better than others. Alhamdulilah for everything. With hardship comes ease, no? InsyAllah Ameen.

What I’m enjoying right now is…teaching you little things, talking to you about the day, watching you move yourself on the crawling track with much ease after some difficulties but you’re a pro my boy! I also love looking into your deep, wide eyes as you stare back at me.

Your ayah and i really love the cute sounds (cooing and ahhing) you make ever so often when you are awake and satisfied after your feeds!

With love,
Your ummi (who will always love you)