Archive | August, 2013

Sleep is like oxygen. You don’t really give it much thought until you can’t get enough of it. Then it’s ALL you can think about.

23 Aug



Reflections of a mother

21 Aug

It’s painful to watch a mother being treated not too nicely by her sons. Perhaps there are daughters who treat their mothers badly but its more common with the sons.

I’ve secretly wanted a boy for my firstborn and Alhamdulilah Allah gave me a boy. Nonetheless, I would have been as thrilled to have a girl. Why did I want a boy? Hmm I don’t know I’ve always liked little boys. They appear cuter to me than little girls in their pink everything. It’s irks me to see little girls with makeup, a little handbag, miniature high heels and their halter necks with a matching mini skirt. Of course I’ve seen cute little girls and liked them. Oh please I was a little girl myself not too long ago.

When I unfortunately witness unkind treatment towards the poor mothers of the ungrateful sons, I wince, as if a sharp knife pierced through my heart.

I wonder what it would be like for me. Of course all is in His hands and I do’a for the best for my son. But I must be prepared for even the best of sons would have wives to please and families to tend to. I must be prepared for sons would slowly move away from the mothers whose world changed when their sons were born. I must harden my sensitive heart to contain the pain and smile through it all.

DS has not been himself lately and it’s not easy tending to a overtired baby at the end of the day for by then the mother is also overtired. Is there such a word in the mothers’ vocabulary? Guess not! Well to be honest I’m not sure what being himself is, since he is different so much. His sleeping patterns change as he grows. It’s like as soon as I get used to his ways, he decides to find a new way. Sometimes I go crazy and other times I remind myself that he is a baby who needs me, his ummi and I love him dearly so I should patiently tend to his every single need. InsyAllah Allah will give me the strength to give my all no matter the returns.

The other day; I was thinking out loud with the husband on whether it is worth it to be a SAHM or continue building my career and chase my dreams. Well I’m still thinking about it! It’s never an easy decision to leave your dreams and be with your kids. I wonder how my mother did it…


2 months already?!

14 Aug

Dear son,

My love for you is only ever increasing as I get acquainted with you. You turn 2 month (8 weeks, 5 days) old today. Alhamdulilah, we have only Allah to thank for that.

It’s been a real eye opening (like literally) experience of a lifetime for me. Bringing an individual into this world is no joke! I realized that no matter how well read one is, the experiences of motherhood would still surprise you.

First ummi was worried about your jaundice level which kept increasing and being purely breastfed, it took extra long for it to dwindle down. While you had jaundice, ummi noticed yellow discharge from your eyes that caused your eyelashes to stick together and your eye to be red. It didn’t help matters when your grandma noticed your chest to be harder than normal. Ummi found out from our best friend Mr Google that its breast buds and that it would go away on its own. No one told me of this. Your curious ummi actually tried squeezing it and milk actually came out! Can you believe it? Apparently it’s normal in babies because a surge of hormones is passed on from mother to baby before they enter the world – this helps them to breathe on their own as soon as they are detached from their mothers.
Guess what else ummi had to worry about? Your circumcision and the recovery process – the ring dropped after 8 days. Now it’s a cough! Oh how it pains me to watch you pump your little body to bring out the cough and then struggle for air before you continue to cough! The worries of a mother will never end. This just means that your ummi care a lot about you my lovely boy!

Your ayah always say I care for you very well. I forgot to retort that he has been a wonderful father as well; changing diaper, helping ummi whenever and wherever possible. Alhamdulilah. He even wakes up at night to help ummi change your diaper sometimes. He prepares the water for your bath even! Speaking of baths, ummi has started bathing you twice in Syawal. Alhamdulilah Allah made the difficult easy for those who try and supplicate. It is a milestone for me!

Of milestones and such, I’m not sure how you measure up to others your age but I’m just concerned for you. You’ve been tracking well for around 2 weeks now. You’re responding more when ummi call out to you as well. While doing so, ummi noticed you smiled back at me since 2 days ago! You’ve also started at 6 weeks to look more attentively at the cards ummi has been showing you since you were 2 weeks old. What I really like is your cooing! Lastly your manja cry with your sad face; if only I can capture the moment. I can’t help to think how cute you look before I tend to your needs.

Recently it was Eid since we are in Syawal already. I think all the visiting tire you out. Relatives were however very excited to see you and carry you. Ummi was exhausted too as I had to carry you around in the sarong when you nurse and sleep. I’m getting the hang of nursing you discretely in public.

Shall we go for a holiday soon then?

Till the next month InsyAllah my love!

Lots of cuddles,
Your Ummi

P.s. it is also auntie Adilah’s birthday today. She is 25 years and 9 months older than you!


Maintaining the ramadhan high

12 Aug

This article was written by a British revert who observed Ramadan on his own in Spain and Poland in 2013, and in Spain and China 2012, in the hope to inspire and encourage reverts and other Muslims to keep up the spirituality post-Ramadan until the next one. He also hopes that the article will encourage Muslim families to adopt a revert Muslim now that Ramadan is over and keep them smiling into the next one!

Click to read more:
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What kind of Parent do you want to be?

11 Aug

I read this blog post which reminded me of how my mum was when we were little and how she is now with my little nephew and realize how true it is – we would miss the times of their childhood when they grow up and have their own separate lives.

Please read the post here:

I think I will be the kind of parent my mother was. Even though I see this happening around and I comment on it; I believe I would do the same unknowingly. Thus I have to deliberately find the balance between giving my child space to build his own character while installing some form of discipline. Easier said than done, I’m sure.

Of relatives and festivities – first of such for DS

9 Aug

I wonder why I miss him today despite carrying him and nursing him. I held him close to me but perhaps not as much as I would when it’s just me and my baby at home all day.

Everyone wanted to carry him; relatives near and far. I didn’t mind but just miss him every time I’m not physically with him.

I wanted to take a photo with DH and DS but didn’t get the opportunity until the last house. DS was fast asleep already by then. He slept quite a bit during the day as well. Alhamdulilah a well behaved boy 🙂 my family also helped with him.

I love you dearly my dear boy!

You will sleep with ummi today so I can keep kissing your cheeks.

I think someone reminded me to enjoy this time with DS. I forgot to look past the challenges and embrace the wonders.