Archive | October, 2013

I’ve been guilty of nursing DS to sleep or if he is crying uncontrollably :(

23 Oct

Then I read this:

Nursing is not only nourishing; it’s also nurturing. Your breast is a wonderful place of comfort and security to your child, not just a feeding “trough”. The time spent nursing your baby is a very short period in the total life of your child, but the memories of your love and availability will last him a lifetime. Trust that your baby will fall asleep on his own in time, and enjoy every sleepy moment while it lasts.

Taken from here! Go read the rest of the article if you’re interested.

So I’m not going to stress myself over this and think about the zillion other things on my plate.

As a mother, we make many decision for/ about our kids and we try to make decisions which are in their best interest BUT…

There’s lots to consider and sometimes we have to make the decision on the spot.

Any option would have its pros and cons. We’ll just have to deal with the cons later on. Breastfeeding is wonderful as a whole but there are times we have to do what’s convenient for us to give them the best.

Nursing a baby to sleep helps the baby sleep but it also means baby needs mummy to sleep.

Nursing a baby in the long run means baby sleeps with parents for easier feeding.

If mummy were to be rigid with where, how, when, how much she feeds baby…I’m not sure how long she’d be able to feed baby. This is my opinion; find ways to make it convenient and easy for you.

As always there will be tongue wagging. People talk. About anything. And everything.




21 Oct

It’s not pain for a split second but prolonged pain.

My left bottom wisdom tooth was starting to give me problems and the dentist did say he can feel it under my gums so to extract before it affects my other teeth.

Since I was still breastfeeding DS, I didn’t want to have to take medications unnecessarily but I guess it’s now or never so I went ahead with it.

ANOTHER surgery just 4 months after a major surgery. Somehow I remember the recovery from my cesarean to be quick and not too painful. Getting out of bed for the first time one day after surgery was excruciatingly painful I told myself I never want to give birth again! Oh that was then when everything hurt like crazy; eating, sitting, sleeping, breastfeeding, standing … I shall not go on because I think you got the idea. Ok I just reminded myself that the first few days was just as bad or maybe worse than now.

I can’t eat (weep) but I have to otherwise I’d be hungry. When I eat normally I get hungry so fast because baby is ‘ sharing’ my food. I used to eat so fast and rightfully so because baby needs lots of attention now that he’s a little mobile and has no inkling of dangers. It hurts to sleep on my side too. I could hardly open my mouth.

I think the dental clinic should give their patients a list of after surgery effects to expect like difficulty opening mouth, inability to chew and talk too much as well as swollen/ numb tongue etc like this website states clearly.

Oh well it’s starting to feel better on day 4, Alhamdulilah 🙂

For anyone interested, there is a photo of my super large wisdom tooth. It’s a little disgusting. Don’t look of you can’t see bloody stuff!



Rantings of a breastfeeding mother

20 Oct

When I made the decision to exclusively breastfeed, I thought I would have the support of everyone around me since i thought it was a privilege for a child to be exclusively breastfed.

How wrong I was to think that way! Alhamdulilah Allah has made it possible for me to carry on this far.

Today it just crumbled down on me, whatever that was hanging in the clouds. Somehow I feel my mother, who is going to be the main caregiver for DS when I get back to work, is not very supportive of exclusive breastfeeding. She didn’t say it out loud but I can sense it.

🐾How to have another child if you want to continue to breastfeed?

🐾Breast milk alone not enough. The baby will remain hungry.

🐾4 months can give cereal already so baby will sleep longer.

🐾How long are you going to breastfeed him?

🐾I heard someone breastfeed the child for so long, now he don’t want to drink from bottle.

As time went by, I realized that there were challenges ahead and i was willing to face them alone if i must but I always felt DH was a strong supporter of the path we chose; to exclusively breast feed our child.

Well it was mostly easy for him; he’s hungry, it’s feeding time, ummi is here to feed you, ummi will be here soon…his common dialogues. He was more supportive in the beginning; keeping vigil with us while DS nursed.

Maybe it became easier over time but I still wake up for diaper changes and night feedings. The job of a mother is 24 hours; it doesn’t matter if you are sick or well, tired or well-rested, you need a break to eat and shower and pray and…have some alone time (this is a dream). If DS needs a feed, diaper change or is just restless and sleepy you get moving!

I have some frozen breast milk but whenever I leave DS for a few hours with someone else, it’s always,”you will feed him before you leave right?” And it always feels like I’m troubling others when they have to take care of him. Of late, he chose not to nurse when I was out for 4 hours when usually he nurses very often.

Now he rejects the bottle! Is it my fault? Of course it is and tongues start wagging again. I made sure to introduce the bottle when DS was 6 weeks. There wasn’t a consistent effort though. I don’t leave DS with mother very often because honestly I rather bring him with me instead of troubling her. She has been rather busy these past few months.

I’m starting to panic because I’m returning to work in like 3 weeks. I haven’t pump enough milk. The frozen milk turned bad before 3 months. I have just started a new way of storing milk because we don’t have enough freezer space. I have to plan for pumping sessions at work. I have a trip to plan and prepare for and TONS of other things to do. There is very little I can do in the day because DS doesn’t have long day naps. I’m not complaining but I hope to have some understanding and support from those close and dear to me.

Despite all these, I enjoy breastfeeding my little sunshine! InsyAllah I can continue this sunnah. Ameen.

Oh what a cute chuckle! Are you having fun rolling around too?

20 Oct

Oh the joys of motherhood!

I was speaking to DH when I playfully touched DS’s cheek. He gave a slight smile and I heard his first real chuckle! I kept repeating my action to hear my dear son’s chuckle! He knows how to laugh! Alhamdulilah…

Besides, now we can’t leave DS on the bed alone for too long lest he might start rolling. After turning, he continues to turn back to his back and again on his tummy. So he can move from one end of our queen sized bed to the other.

@4 months 5 days/ 18 weeks 2 days

I love holding you in my arms while you sleep so peacefully on my chest

17 Oct

I can feel your breath on my cheek…
I can smell your wonderful baby scent…
I can hold you close to me…
I can watch you sleep so soundly…
I can tap your bottom gently to lull you to sleep…
I can hug you tight when I think of how you need lots of cuddles right now and how it gives me great comfort too…
I can kiss your temples while I crook my neck just a little…
I can lightly graze your soft cheeks with my kisses…

Oh how love your smile…”the smile of an adult breaks barriers but the smile of a child melts the heart” , Mufti Ismail Menk.

My baby is 4 months old!

14 Oct

Dearest son,

My boy, you’re growing well Alhamdulilah. Ummi enjoy watching you try to turn with all your might and then kick as you try to move yourself forward. It’s something we all take for granted but I know it’s not a simple task for a little baby.

You generous with you smile especially for me, your ummi whose heart skips a beat when I see my baby’s smile.

To be honest when I’m stressed while taking care of you, I wish for the time to go to work be sooner but now as the time is approaching, I’m feeling less confident that I can return to work, wouldn’t be able to leave you my darling boy. I have lots to prepare for before I go back and there’s the impending trip we are going for. Your very first trip InsyAllah.

Of late you’ve been placing your thumb and at times your hands into your mouth. You are doing it so much more now and you actually like the teething toy ummi allows you to try sucking on for a change.

More recently, you have been reaching or your toes. Oh you look so cute with your fingers holding your toes! I’ve captured some photos of you doing that.

We also took a family photo during Eid adha recently. Your very first family photo with ummi’s family. I guess we have to take one with ayah’s side of the family soon.

You’re still not sleeping through the night and now you pass motion at several times through the night. In the day you hardly pass motion, I hope you don’t have your days and nights mixed up!

As for your learning, you seem to like looking at Arabic 🙂 and you have a ready smile for dot cards as always.

You know my dear son, people say lots of things about ummi breastfeeding you and that I should start giving you solids and how long am I going to breastfeed you but I hold firm to what I have planned to provide for you, only the best (that i can manage) InsyAllah.

People look at me funny when i try to teach you. When i started reading while pregnant with you, people’s tongue couldn’t stop wagging; going on about letting you have your childhood and don’t make you ‘study’ from so young.

People are going to say so much more as time goes by but if we know what we are doing is in line with the sunnah and the religion and what belief is right, we should stick to our decision.

This past week, you didn’t want your Emma to carry you and when your moyang carried you a few times, you cried so loudly, I couldn’t take it but I waited till your moyang passed you back to me. You seem to like your Vaapa carry you. Your nyayi carried you recently, you cried after a while. Not sure if you have started to have preference. As long as I’m your no. 1 I’ll be happy 🙂 everyone else would get used to you and you’d get used to them in no time InsyAllah.

Ummi will create more collages for you when time permits 🙂

Until next time my darling baby!

With lots of wet kisses and tight hugs and never ending love,
Your ummi

Going out without the baby and the husband is…

12 Oct

really different, can’t say how but it reminds me of when I was single. Guess I can pass off as single. I mean I was pregnant for 9 months before baby came so during that time it felt different as well. I guess bringing baby out attracts lots of attention from onlookers too.

The look on my son’s face when I left home was heart-wrenching 😦 I miss him already. I did contemplate bringing him but that would defeat the purpose of the event I would be attending and am already late for. I wouldn’t mind but people would.

Not really looking forward to going back to work now. 😦

Baby list

7 Oct

We were privileged to have the comfort of the class A ward which is a private suite for our 4 days stay at KKH. The nurses were a wonderful bunch of super helpful and knowledgeable bunch of people. They have lots planned for the mummy and everything taken care of. My only unhappiness with my whole experience at KKH was my gynae, Dr June Tan She was generally alright but I seemed more of a customer to her than a patient. She didn’t once visit me after my surgery. I think she should at least have visited me once to see if I’m alright. I saw her once before the surgery and that’s it. After that, it was the medical officers and doctors in duty who tended to me from removing tubes, catheter, to when to give food and drinks, my gastric problem, my wound examination and removal of the plaster. Her surgical skills were good, no complaints on that.

A friend who would be giving birth soon asked for a list of things she would need to prepare for baby so since I typed it for her, might as well share with anyone else who needs it.

Disclaimer: the list below is not exhaustive and is purely based on our experience.

Things to prepare before baby arrives:

1. Baby bath (soap)
We use Johnson & Johnson original. We tried puréen, it’s nice too.

2. Baby shampoo
We use Johnson & Johnson.

3. Baby wipes
We use pigeon. We’ve tried other brands which we received as gifts like puréen and Johnson & Johnson but they are much wetter. Johnson & Johnson is also scented. We also tried Huggies, we find it too dry. We prefer Pigeon because its just right in terms of moisture, size and scent.

4. Baby powder
We use Johnson & Johnson bedtime (purple bottle). Lavender scent.

5. Baby nail clipper
We bought NUK brand. I read that we are not supposed to cut their nails until after around 6-8weeks. But I started at like 3-4 weeks. Their nails harden over time. In the meantime, cover their sharp nails with mittens 🙂

6. Diapers
I contemplated cloth diaper and even napkin but really normal disposable diapers seemed the most convenient. Just toilet train them the earliest possible to avoid further damage to the environment. Haha!

We found Huggies to be the cheapest. Highly recommend Huggies because KKH uses it while baby is in hospital with you. We still find it the best but its costly as they grow older and the diaper bags get bigger. It is generally good because it can retain the motion and urine and most importantly hardly causes nappy rash.

Pet pet seems alright as well.

Pampers is too thin and causes nappy rash easily if you don’t change a soiled diaper fast. I understand that pampers have other types of diapers which are good.

7. Baby bottles
We use Avent newborn, the purple box series. They have a few types but the ones we bought it believed to be closest to the breast so best for breastfed babies.

We also have a medela bottle because I use medela pump. We have a number of breastmilk storage medela bottles as well.

There are better brands like Dr Brown and tommy and tippee (not sure how to spell). I know a friend uses Dr Brown bottles for her colicky daughter. I think they are the higher end ones and are also known to be popular for breastfed babies or babies with colic.

Generally, I think 2 bottles should be sufficient because baby can only drink from one bottle right? Haha

8. Cotton buds.
My mum uses it to clean ears and nose. If the cotton bud is too thin, she wraps cotton wool to make it thicker so as to joy hurt baby’s soft tissues.

9. Cotton balls.
We didn’t use these but when they teach to clean the eyes, umbilical cord in the hospital, must use wet cotton balls. We have this huge roll of cotton wool so my mum just use that.

10. Gripe water.
This is my mum’s tip because she bought it and gives one teaspoon of it to baby after bath every morning. This is believed to help with gas which babies generally have lots of. They always need to burp. My mum said will help with wind in the stomach.

11. Glycerin.
This is also from my mum. She takes some cotton wool and wraps it around her little finger, wet it and makes sure he cotton is wet and stuck to finger. Then dap a little glycerin on fingertip and then clean baby’s tongue. This would help baby drink better because they have no way of cleaning their tongues/ mouths.

12. Baby clothes detergent
We use Kodomo.

13. Liquid bottle/ baby toys detergent
We use puréen.

14. Bottle sterilizer
My mum has this Tupperware kinda of container in which all the bottles and baby related stuff are so she pours boiled water to sterilize them daily every morning. We received a NUK sterilizer (it came with 4 NUK bottles)
but haven’t used it. I think it might be more convenient to have one.

15. Changing mat
We bought a puréen mat. But any mat would do. Important for changing diaper on beds, outside in toilets, and of course at home.

16. Baby sling (any other baby carrier)
I bought from the birthshop. They are going to be at baby market (expo) next week as well! They selling at $40.
Anyway there are many others like bjorn and the others I’m not familiar with. My sis-in-law carries my nephew in the sling so I follow. It has been good so far because I can nurse him discreetly while carrying him in the sling. I don’t think you can nurse your baby in other baby carriers. It’s tiring with the sling but generally carrying baby is tiring! And you can wash in the washing machine. You can hands free as well. When you go to the expo, ask the person to demo for you. They usually would be happy to do so. If you buy other baby carriers, you can use a nursing cover to nurse.

17. Nursing cover
I bought mine at kiddy palace around $20++. So far haven’t used much because I can still nurse him in the sling outside. Maybe when he is much bigger.

18. Breast pump
I use medela. Bought it at $80+. Mine is manual but it has a massage function as well. It came with bottle cooler (can hold 2 bottles and has a freezable little bag to keep the milk cold for some time) and a box of breast pads.

19. Breast pads
Necessary especially when your milk comes in, your clothes will be wet if you don’t use them. Change often.

20. Nursing tops
I bought 2 before I gave birth. You can use buttoned blouses or blouses with stretchable materials in front if you can access to breastfeed. If its a wrap pattern in front also can be used to breastfeed. Not sure what you want to wear at home to nurse comfortably. You can wear a nursing tank top or just any tank top of t shirt. They do sell nursing t shirts.

21. Nursing bras
There are easier access bras for nighttime feedings. There are also normal nursing bras for day time use. Useful to have both! I noticed though that people advice preggy mummies to buy nursing bras in their last month so that you know the size that’ll fit but I find that it’s too lose at the band after I lose the baby weight thus I’m confused as to when to buy.

22. Breastmilk storage bottles.
You can buy disposable ones which are smaller and sterilized already. I use the 250ml storage bottles. I sterilize before and after use and reuse. There are breastmilk bags as well. I just got a milk cube tray to freeze the breastmilk and store in ziplock bags. Not sure if its the best way not to waste precious milk. And for easier defrosting if frozen milk.

26. Baby cream/ baby oil/ baby lotion
We don’t really use the any lotions or oils because we use minyak telon to gently massage his joints and tummy.

27. Clothes/ mittens/booties/ beeps/ small towels/ napkins/caps/ swaddle

28. Maternity pads
I didn’t really use much because there wasnt much need after like 2 days and the hospital gave maternity pads.
This tends to be the case for cesarean births.

In general:
Some of the brands, we just follow what my brother used for my nephew. It’s like someone used it and have no problem so just follow because you will be spoilt for choices with the many many brands namely puréen, Johnson & Johnson, NUK, Tollyjoy, Kodomo and many more. Others, we find the brand which suits us after some time.

Things to bring to the hospital:

For baby

1. Buttoned t shirt for baby
2. Mittens
3. Booties
4. Swaddle
5. Cap

For mummy

1. Change of clothes to go home
2. Undergarments (disposable panties provided in the hospital)
3. Breast pads (not provided)
4. Clothes for your husband if he is staying.
5. Snacks for nighttime if you get hungry. If breastfeeding you would get hungry easily and they only provide milo and plain biscuits in KKH).
6. Binder
7. Any other personal belongings like IC, hand phone, money, camera etc

Baby fair goodies

6 Oct

For the past 3 weekends, we’ve visited baby fairs to check out their deals and free stuff!




1 Oct

I reopened his play pen and fixed all the treehouse animals and even added his caterpillar for variety and left him for less than 5 minutes. I went to the room to speak to DH only to return to an overturned baby! I was like a crazy mother,”look at him he has turned over!!!” I wanted to see him in the act but haven’t been able to do so yet. I saw him trying but didn’t manage to do it. Then I realize it must take a lot for the little fellow to turn on his own! Alhamdulilah…

@ 3 months 16 days/ 16 weeks 4 days