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dear son 2

8 Feb

Dear son,

I realised a long time ago that I can’t be totally fair to you or your brother after you were born because many reasons.

I wish to apologise that I didn’t write to you every month like I did for your brother until he was 13 months. 

We just got less time since I’m still working, even if it’s just part time but time is just never enough. 

I did however take photos of you, many of them actually so maybe when time permits (Insyallah), I will create monthly entries for you based on memory and photo profiles to gauge your age.

Now you’re 1.5 years old. you’re a joy to be with. Your playful personality is shining through the dimples and grey eyes which was what everyone saw when they saw you. 

I hope people see you for what you are and not what you look like in the future. Today I still winch when people gawk at your eye colour asking if father is ang moh and short of demanding an explanation for the way your eye look. 

Sometimes I think admiration with jealousy burgeoning underneath the seemingly innocent attention you get when we go out. 

You and your elder brother play very well together, you seem to be as rough as he is with you and at times the rough tumble play seems too much for your poor ummi. 

You have been the only one not yet in school since the beginning of this year as all the older ones are in school in the morning. 

You’re speaking a few words like your usual mmi (for ummi), yahhhh (ayah) and now you’re beginning yaaas ( for your older brother, sometimes Anne), mma, papa, tatok ( datok) and nyayi (and Nenek sometimes). 

You mention a few general words like ket ( for biscuits, your favourite cheese biscuits), yice (for rice), cheese and who can forget your famous ‘i wan I wan I wan’ to anyone who appears to be eating anything. You ask for nilk (milk) and look so excited when it’s time to have some. 

Im still feeding you my milk and you look like you love it to bits! 

Your favourite thing to do is to use the phone and go out. You’ll break into a wide grin and run ( you walk so fast, it’s like you’re running) to the door the moment you hear the gate unlock. 

With lots of love,

Your ummi 

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There was a moment we just connected

14 Jan

It was a beautiful moment I didn’t want to end. There was some Islamic zikir (rememberance of Allah) going on in the background leading to my inner peace. I gazed at my beautiful son and he flashed his toothless grin which can melt any hearts, masyallah. I hugged him tight and he bounced around in my arms excitedly. Tears streamed from my eyes. I don’t know what it was…or maybe I do…I pacified myself and my son, wiped my tears and went back to getting ready for work.

Conversation this morning with my 17 month old

3 Dec

DS: go down
Ummi: careful (as he maneuver his way down the bed, climbing over me)
DS: open the door
Ummi: where do you want to go?
DS: shop
Ummi: what do you need to buy at the shop?
DS: egg
Ummi: what are you going to do with the egg?
DS: cook
Ummi: who are you planning on cooking for?
DS: (his name)

———
After looking at some word and picture cards, he wanted more of a particular type of cards and insisted he see it. I said no as I was about to leave for work, he insisted.

He likes to say push ummi just for fun at times and he did that.
ummi: sayang ummi
DS: push ummi, carry you.
Ummi: ummi go to work, you push ummi

DS kept silent as ummi walked away. Sat on the swing and looked down at his lap. I checked on him a few times. He didn’t try to free himself from the buckles of the swing. He looked so sad it made me sad.

Ummi came before leaving from work and asked for a kiss, he said push ummi and kissed ummi. I carried him around before leaving for work.

I wonder if he knew I wanted to leave for work and instead of telling me not to go, he using reverse psychology on me? If I tell ummi to stay, she would go. Of I told ummi to go, she would stay.

I miss him! Together, we miss ayah 😦

My busy little 16 month old

14 Oct

Dearest little one,

This month wheezed by us as it has been filled with loads of fun activities for us! You’ve been to several water parks and we know how much you enjoy those visits when you’ll drag us back to the playground after we’ve clean you up nice and dry.

You’ve been really wonderful though, not throwing a fit if we don’t do as you please, you’ll whine a little but you’ll turn towards other things in no time.

3 weeks ago, you said ummi. On the same day you said emma. You’ve shown recognition towards people in the house as well as your paternal grandparents and aunt. It’s beautiful to see how you light up the faces of people around you when you address them personally with nyayi, atom, mami and even Arshad. You call your uncle by name?!…

You’re running short distances and you have been attempting to jump when your anne mukhlis jumps. Recently you climbed off the bed and walked out of the room on your own when you awoke from sleep in the morning.

Did I mention your love for pens? You just love to write! You like your crayons too! And you look adorable hugging your little bear.

Lots of love,
Your ummi

Oiling with Young living has been great!

9 Sep

I’m convinced that we don’t need to run to the doc every time something doesn’t feel right.

My family and I have been down with several bugs these past few months and it’s taking a toll on me BUT I know now that with lots of prayers, they will heal with all the oiling.

I have been reading loads to equip myself with ways to help the little one. I have been blessed with a sister-in-law as well a group of mothers I am in contact with to support me through this new terrain.

1
The very first time my SIL helped to oil him when he was down with fever. She mixed 3 oils and started oiling. I wasn’t familiar with oils then but I think they were peppermint, eucalyptus radiata and Theives. The blend with coconut oil was applied on his back and chest as well as feet – focusing on his belly button and armpits. His fever dropped within an hour. But his temperature didn’t remain low. As it fluctuated, I oiled. He was also having flu so we applied RC on his nose bridge, back and chest.

2
He was down with a flu bug twice and I started oiling him with RC EO in nose bridge, back, chest and feet. I also used thieves and peppermint EO. Raven EO and Frankincense EO as well.

3
We all came down with a stomach bug some time back. Applied Lemongrass EO and Fennel EO.

4
We brought DS to Jurong Bird Park and unfortunately it poured. We were stuck at the Lory feeding place which was outdoor. Not sure if it was the rain or the place but he was bitten quite badly by mosquitoes or some insects. I started with Lavender EO the day after when I saw the bumps on his hand and feet, around 4 spots. After 2 days of oiling, I saw slight improvement by the end of the second day , perhaps because I didn’t oil often enough. On the second day, I also used Purification EO. By the third day, it was improving but much faster after applying Melrose EO. He scratched the site so there was some open wound so it dried up and some spots were flattening. Alhamdulilah.

5
DS also developed high fever of around 39 degree Celsius on the day after our trip to the bird park. After 2 applications of Lavender EO, Peppermint EO, Lemon EO and Theives EO. His temperature plummeted to around 37.5. Alhamdulilah. I continued oiling him around 2-3 times till morning as his temperature fluctuated a little. He was back to his normal temperature by day 2 night. (24 hours) Alhamdulilah.

6
Right now, dealing with his phelgmy cough which is so stubborn. I tried all sorts of oils but I’m trying something different now, to stick to 2 oils Myrtle EO and Lemon EO. InsyAllah he will get better with plentiful do’a and tlc amidst the oiling.

One year of pure love

14 Jun

My dearest son,

In the blink of an eye you turned one. Your presence in my life has been like no other.

Your smile, the first time you overturned, when you first crawl, your first steps…they were wonderful moments. Sometimes I choose to bask in them other times I remember to capture them.

It’s beautiful to watch you learn and grow. Alhamdulilah. Ummi is grateful to Allah for the pleasures of having the wonderful opportunity to watch how you grow. We are encouraging (aggressively) anne Mukhlis to keep his toys and you, my lovely boy is learning and helping too. There is good in everything, masyallah. Being the second little one has its merits.

You’re eating fruits, vegetables, rice, fish and even chicken. It has been a breeze introducing food to you and you take it well and fast Alhamdulilah.

Of late, you’ve been scrunching up your nose while you play certain things. Ummi has been introducing life skills, fine motor and gross motor skill activities and you’re faring pretty well Alhamdulilah.

My dear, your walking now but you still prefer crawling because oh boy you crawl so fast. We even brought you for a crawling competition.

You’ve been on 2 trips with ummi and ayah as well as with Emma and vaapa. You were great in Cambodia and a favorite in Korea. No more trips for a while now because it’s tiring on your ummi.

I’m enjoying every moment I spend with you.

I”ll not trade the times we roll around in bed and giggle until you’re too sleepy, you’ll crawl to me and lie on my lap while sucking your thumb.

I”ll not miss kissing you goodnight and in the morning before I leave for work.

I”ll never bore from watching you sleep, my little angel. There is something so mesmerizing about that.

I”ll never feel exhaustion meeting your every needs especially when I come to bed to doze off and you stir in your sleep requesting for milk.

I”ll never stop loving you, my precious child.

With love, the purest of all from mother to child, (besides God’s love)
Your ummi

First steps

10 Jun

Dearest son,

You took your very first step on 24 May 2014 @ 11 months 10 days. It was an amazing moment to experience and whenever I revisit the experience, the feeling is surreal.

You went one step, 2 step and you’d fall gracefully on your little bump. Today, I witnessed you taking it further … 3 step 4 step. @ 4 days shy of 12 months

To many more milestones ahead!

With lots of love,
Your ummi

When fathers dress the little ones and are you walking somewhere baby?

26 May

image

*notice the bears are behind and not in front where it’s supposed to be.

My little sunshine is taking his first few steps as he slowly stabilizes himself. Alhamdulilah.
@ 11 months 10 days

10 months of adventures with the little one who isn’t so little anymore

14 Apr

Dearest son,

This month went by in a breeze…we visited one of ummi’s friend who gave birth to a tiny baby and well ummi is not sure you knew what was going on but soon you’ll identify with other babies and gravitate towards them.

Our big ticket event was of course our trip to Korea! Ummi and ayah are still suffering from the aftermath of the trip with cough and cold. You were a champ in the flight abd throughout the trip. Not only were you on your best behavior, you were like a celebrity baby…the Korean women and men loved you. They coo all over you and you started showing off your gorgeous smile and waving hello and goodbye. They wanted to carry you but ummi as you can expect was overprotective and insist strangers can’t carry you. You slept in the bassinet on the plane and I think you were comfortable in there. Do you want to sleep on your own soon?

You have been your usual active self and you just love to crawl and pull yourself to stand. You are also less fussy about food so it’s getting easier for ummi. I still make food for you because it makes me happy and of course I think it’s better than pre-prepared jar food.

I am secretly like that you are a little clingy to me. I think you are balanced in how you prefer me, your mother and how you are comfortable being carried by people you don’t really know.

Looking forward to more play time with you my darling.

With lots of love, cuddles, hugs, kisses,
Your ummi

You’ve been in my life for 9 months and I can’t remember life without you

14 Mar

Dearest son,

I suddenly can’t remember all your accomplishments in the past month. It’s like I lost count. You’re growing so fast I can’t keep up. I’m trying. I’m trying to give you the best from the food you eat to the things you play.

We’ve been really busy bringing you around to many places including a ranch where we saw horses and insyAllah a longer trip awaits us.

I saw your first tooth.

We recorded your crawling and before we knew it you were standing on your own. You love to crawl so you do that a lot around the house. Your Emma gives you the freedom to crawl as you please a to the kitchen, utility room, entrance I the house and even the toilet.

You’re so fun to play with! We really enjoy just being with you my dearest sunshine.

We also had your uncle’s wedding at your nyayi and atok’s house. Lots of people.

You have been very friendly with strangers. Waving your palm, smiling and mingling your baby way. You light up people’s days.

Just today, ummi bought you a little drum. You held onto it and actually cried very loudly when your ayah took it away from you. It surprised us because you used to go on to other toys when your toy is taken away usually by Mukhlis.

I noticed that you’ve recently started to show some preferences as well when it comes to people around you.

Till next time darling baby!

Yours truly,
Your ummi whose love for you has no end