muffins i would never forget

I have been craving for chocolate muffins for a long time. Everytime i see them, i will be stuck in a dilemma of whether i should eat it or not because it might not be halal. So of course i continue on my quest  for halal muffins.

Oh during the social workers day symposium, there were alot of  apple and nut muffins simply delicious! But nothing beats chocolate right 😉

The last time i had the most delicious chocolate muffins was in London. Well i bought it there but i ate it at the train station in Finland.

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Tampere Airport

I reached Finland from London (met lovely Eli there) at 11plus. The Tampere airport closes after our flight landed so i cant spend the night there nor can i get a train back to Lappeenranta (my town).

So i took this shuttle bus just like most people to the train station. I had a friend from the trip; we met on the way to London and on the way back. She was going quite far north where she lives, an eight hour train ride – which explains why there was a night train for her so she will reach in the morning.

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Tampere train station – 12.30am.

I on the other hand, did not have a direct train to my town so it complicated things even more. The earliest train back was 4.40am. It was 12am. An almost 5 hour wait is no joke when you’re all alone and the train station looked like it was about to close. I was afraid the station officers would think i was a homeless girl just trying to sleep in the train station so i exited the station into the cold freezing night. Furthermore, i didn’t want to miss the train if the doors weren’t unlocked at 4.40am.

It was kind of the worst decision i made based on my guts. *i always thought i could trust my guts but it failed me this once*

Let me give you a picture of the train station.

Entrance ———–> train station(enclosed area) ————–>stairs to platforms (open area) ————->platforms

(entered with my friend at 12am and stayed inside till they started closing the station)

The words in red was where i was for the 5 hours.

Tampere train station – 1.30am.

I walked up and down for a while looking for the best place to rest (i.e) just sit and wait for my train. *couldn’t wait to get home* I climbed the long flight of stairs up to the platform and looked around. No one really except a few train technician and cargo train people. Lonely, tired, hungry, sleepy…*also wanted to jamaa’ my prayer of maghrib and Isyak*

I found a few card boards to sit on because the place was quite dirty.

I relieved myself of my heavy bags onto the card boards and sat on the steps. Being trained by my sister-in-law when i travel, there is always some snacks/ fruits/ chocolate with me. Being Muslim means not being able to eat most of the food around. Before i left London, i bought a packet of chocolate muffins which i thought was ok to consume just based on the ingredients.

The food and drinks i had with me has to last till i reached Finland.

The chill of the night could be felt in my bones. *luckily i wasn’t as skinny as i am now* I had on a winter coat but i was still freezing. I thought to myself, pacing up and down would help to warm myself but it was of little use. Time was ticking slower than a snail would move.

I sat down. Got up, laid my sejadah and prayed my prayers. After that I had to do something right? I bought a soduku book from the airport with whatever pounds and pence i had left. I decided to do a few puzzles but my fingers were freezing and it felt like it would really stop moving if i didn’t hide them in my jacket. I tried writing my travel journal as well but my hand writing was hideous.

From my travel journal ~

“I am sitting alone on the step leading to platform 4 where my train would arrive in a few hours. I am so so so cold. My fingers would freeze soon. I just prayed Maghrib and Isyak here. The station closes at 1 am,” I wrote on the 16th September 2008 at 1.30am.

Time crawled with little activity. It became colder and colder, i didnt know what else to do to warm myself up.

The Sainsbury chocolate muffins was the highlight of the gloomy morning i had to spend alone, waiting for my train home. It was super-licious!

I thought of what my family would be doing. I thought of why did i put myself in this situation. I thought of a lot of things.

Men frequently walked up and down the stairs going about their work with the trains.

Tampere train station – 4 am.

I heard the screech of the trains. I jumped up, lugged my backpack and climbed the stairs slowly for fear of losing my balance after sitting for so long. Imagine my joy when i realised it was my train! Trains do arrive earlier for some servicing and stuff. Only God knew how badly i yearn for the warmth only the train could offer me then. Hopped onto the train and found myself a seat amongst many sleeping people.

The good thing is one can buy the ticket on the train for the same price 🙂

It took a really long time for my body to be rid of the freezing cold of the morning air.

I prayed my subuh while sitting down in the chugging train at 5 plus when the train was on its way to my next train change.

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Tikkurilla train station – 6.30 am

Waited another hour before my next train back to Lappeenranta. Home sweet home 🙂

I reached Lappeenranta at 9 am.

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It was the kind of cold i would never forget. *shivers*

‘Our children are colour blind’

My lecturer likes it alot 🙂 And so do i!

what a mother would say to her daughter

Just something i found on jannah.org

O my daugher! you are leaving the home in which you were brought up to a house unknown to you and to a companion unfamilar to you. Be a floor to him, he will be a roof to you; be a soft seat to him, he will be a pillar for you; and be like a slave girl to him, he will be like a slave boy to you. Avoid inopportune behavior, lest he should be bored with you; and be not aloof lest he should become indifferent to you. If he approaches you, come running to him; and if he turns away, do not impose yourself upon him. Take care of his nose, his eye and his ear. Let him not smell except a good odor from you; let his eye not see you except in an agreeable appearance; and let him hear nothing from you except nice, fine words.

nothing much really

A whole day out with mum 🙂

We had our mother-daughter time which was very much awaited for.We had lunch at Warong Pak *** (cant remember but its really popular, like so many people of all races go there to eat). Walked around and shopped a little 😉 at Arab street….

Bought a number of beatiful fabrics and *ahem* a surprise for the urm wedding. Not many know of it so it might as well remain that way. You are free to make your guesses but you’ll never know for sure unless you attend the function!

Just a clue: Its a beautiful green and bright pink 🙂

*its nice to me and mum but im not sure what others would think of it*

Happy Social Worker’s Day!

useful phrases ~~

Alhamdullilah
It produces calm and health to practice saying, “Alhamdulillah” for what we have

Insha’Allah
for what we intend

Subhana’Allah
when we see something exciting or amazing

Astaghfir’Allah
when we lose our tempers or become weak. and most importantly

Allahu Akbar
when we are faced with the challenges of life.

These five phrases, said regularly, are like taking a multi-vitamin for holistic health.

There is much wisdom in the Prophet’s (sallallahu `alaihi wasallam) statement narrated by Abu Huraira (radhiAllahu `anhu), “The strong [person] is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong [person] is the one who controls himself while in anger.” In fact, staying patient and calm is key to physical strength.

and…

~Inna lillah wa inna ilahi rajiun~

He passed away this morning at 5.20am.

A tear streamed down my cheek and that was it.

I knew him all my life though that was all there was to it.

May Allah peace and blessings be with him. Ameen.

reflection

I knew i was going to visit him but i was filled with a tad of fear deep down when i reached outside his room. He is very much a stranger to me as i was to him. A relative. Seen a lot but never spoke to even once. As i stood next to him lying so helplessly on the bed, a million thoughts ran through my head.

Breathing, which we take for granted looked like something he had to do with a lot of help from the many machines surrounding him. I was afraid for myself more than for him.

I wondered, do i want to be like that? I’d rather be left to go back to Allah, as easily as possible, when i am sick instead of being stuck to machines in my nose and mouth and everywhere else. But who am i to choose?

I remembered my late grandfather, who passed away after being sick for so long. My mum told me it was when he saw his youngest daughter, at last, when he let out his last breath. We were all there, in my grandma’s house. I was too young to feel any grief.

When i thought back about this man, still lying here – his roh still inside him. *please dont get me wrong, its not like i want him to die* He has 2 daughters abroad and one came down a week ago. Another daughter is too far away to travel. She is also incapable of traveling the distance. I thought of how he felt towards his daughters and what he went through when they got married and left her nest. Did he feel sad alot? Did he always wish they could be near him?

My mum asked me and my cousin to *usap* his arm because she said he would be able to feel. I prayed to god to ease his suffering; in whatever way because its all in His hands.

We went to visit his wife after that. I thought she would be tired and asleep by that time but she instead invited us saying she is not asleep yet at 11pm.*The need for others to show that they care for her. Perhaps feels lonely.*

She complained about how difficult it was looking after her husband and sick adult son (also in the same hospital now) that her own health condition is getting worse and she cant take care of them on her own anymore. I pitied her. I wondered if she wanted her husband to leave and ease her suffering or she wanted him to live. *i dont think its wrong* Put yourself in her shoes and answer. Looking after him has become a burden and she cant do it anymore. I was guessing the prior but one never know. My mind went to other things like are they still happy together after more than 50 years together…

Reflection is good for the soul. 🙂 I was exhausted but glad i made the trip there.

How the Prophet would complain

From an email:

What would you do if the world turns against you and difficulties become almost unbearable? Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) went through tremendous problems in the path of Islam.

It is related that when Abu Talib died, the Prophet (peace be upon him) went out on foot to Taif to call its people to Islam. They rejected his call, and he walked away until he got to the shade of a tree. So, he prayed two Rak’at and said:

“O Allah, I complain to You of my weakness and my insignificance in the eyes of the people. You are the most Merciful. No matter who You have put me at the mercy of – an enemy who will be stern with me, or a friend to look after my affairs – as long as You are not angry with me, then I don’t care. However, the relief You bring would be more comfortable for me. I seek refuge with Your Face – for which the darkness has lit up, and the affairs of this world and the next are organized – from being afflicted with Your Wrath or deserving of Your Anger. You have the right to admonish as You please, and there is no might nor power except by Allah.”

This was related by Al-Haythami in ‘Majma’ Az-Zawa’id’ (6/35), and he mentioned in it that Al-Tabarani related it in ‘Al-Mu’jam Al-Kabir’ on the authority of Abdullah Bin Ja’far Bin Abu Talib.

Look at how even in such moments of his life, all he cared about (peace be upon him) was whether or not Allah was pleased with him.

why cant i be less clumsy :S

I was pretty curious with what happened so i googled 🙂

I always, always must try to find a short cut to my destination where there wont be the whole school blocking my way. Today, in my excitement to go home, i took an unfamiliar route down the stairs and through the car park.

Wasnt sure what i was thinking when i walked behind a taxi which just exited the barrier of the car park.

*tung* I was stunned for a moment! Like who hit me? *ouch* :S So painful, i rub my head all the way to the bus stop…

Not sure if i knew where i was going still or i just continued walking straight. I was trying to remember where i came from when i tried to reply the sms and it took some time to come to me.

Just thought to share some interesting articles and what to do when someone got hit on the head.

What i knew was what my mum told me before – if you hit yourself anywhere, selawat and blow. And i noticed when little children fall down (which happens often) their mummies would quickly rub it and blow it to prevent further damage or swell? Haha that was what i knew before googling 😉

Hope it was useful!

And Insyallah my headache would go 🙂 *doakan please*